Rest in Paradise

 me & grandpa on the historic bayfront. he loved the ships in the background and an old bar across the street

 matt & grandpa when they came out to visit last summer

 grandma & grandpa. would have been married 40 years next week <3

this is the double rainbow that was over the hospital the morning my grandpa passed away. I asked for a sign from God the night before he died...I couldn't have gotten a sign more clear.

Oh Life, You Silly Thing You

Um, so, what hasn't happened since I was last on this thing?

I'll try to go in order of events...

I got a new job. Hooray! No more drug rehab work for this girl, no siree. I got a job in a child development center on OSU's campus. It's a private center for OSU faculty and students. I'm beyond excited to work in a professional job environment, with educated people, and people who respect each other oh and babies, how could I forget the babies. I am an infant room teacher. STOKED for that by the way! I will be surrounded by infants all day every day. Serious smiles for that!

Then, my grandpa died. He died on September 11th after my grandma had signed a DNR. This whole thing has been terrible. I flew back out to Utah early last Saturday morning because the funeral was that afternoon, and I flew back home to Oregon Sunday afternoon. It was a quick trip full with tons of emotions. The service was beautiful though. We had a small viewing for family before the funeral which made it easier to accept the fact that I was where I was because it didn't look like him at all. Then we got in a limo and rode over to the mausoleum where he is buried. The mausoleum is beautiful! I can't imagine him being laid to rest anywhere else, he deserves something so different and marvelous. The service itself was cool. It was a military service which I had never seen in person before. It was complete with the trumpeter, gun salute, and presenting of the flag. There were so many people there my grandma kept saying "he would never believe all of these people were here for him!" it was awesome. They read a couple things that we had written about him (the pastor reading mine was definitely the hardest part for me personally)...the whole thing really did him justice. So job well done. Of course that doesn't make accepting reality any easier. Everyone is having a really hard time with the loss because he is seriously one of the best people this earth has known.

When I came back home I quit my job officially and signed the paperwork for my new job that I start next week.

John and I went to talk to a recruiter, although we didn't get much information because John needs to talk to an officer recruiter which apparently is different from a regular enlisted recruiter. So he's setting up an appointment to go talk with him. John and I have been discussing this whole military thing extensively, but I just have so many worries about it. Our number one worry being that we just bought this house and we're not sure we'd be able to sell it right away. I feel like we'd lose a lot of money that we don't have to lose. We'd have to get a couple things fixed that have broken since moving in, we'd probably have to come up with at least half of closing costs which we couldn't do.....this whole thing makes me wonder if the military is even an option right now. But then again John is 26 so his time is running out on becoming an officer if this is truly what he wants to do. The whole thing stresses me out. If we were in an apartment the decision would be much easier to make, we'd do it. But we haven't been in this house for longer than 6 months....to join he military right now seems crazy to me.

So that's our life right now. It's happy, it's depressing, it's stressful, but still somehow optimistic.

Mrs. Anderson

Remember how I told you that an old teacher of mine died yesterday? Remember how I told you that her death was really hard on a lot of people? Well, that was an understatement. This article blows my mind. I hope that I can leave a legacy like she did. I hope that I can make as big of a difference in people's lives as she did. Read this: Nancy Anderson. Loved By All

Rest In Love: Officer Francom

Unless you're from Utah, I doubt you've heard of the shooting in Ogden that killed Officer Jared Francom.

He went to a house to issue a drug warrant and when the door was opened the suspect opened fire. Officer Francom was killed and 5 others were injured (one of those being my Aunt's nephew who is in critical condition). The whole thing really hit home for me. I didn't know Officer Francom, but it happened in my hometown, right where I grew up. The fact that my Aunt's nephew was shot in this horrible event hits even closer.

It scares the hell out of me that John wants to be a policeman. I fully support him and encourage him in his pursuit, but knowing that what happened to Officer Francom could happen to any police officer leaves me sleepless some nights.

The funeral service for Officer Francom was held a couple days ago at the Dee Event Center and I wish so badly that I could have been there. I've only seen videos of it, but seeing the whole community come together like they did that day is moving. I've never seen anything like it, especially not in Ogden. We always see big tributes to our military for their sacrifices, but so often our local heroes sacrifices get pushed aside and taken for granted. So many people have a negative view of policemen, but nothing boils my blood more than the disrespect that is given to them. I'll spare you my rant, but they deserve just as much respect as our military and firemen.

Here's a video of the funeral service that was held. Like I said, I've never seen anything like it.

RIL Officer Francom. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten <3

Guardian Angel

While I was driving to work today I got a call from my mom. I didn't answer because talking on your phone while driving is illegal here in Oregon, but she left a message. I listened to the voicemail and something in her voice just didn't sound good. I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I called her back and she told me that my great grandma passed away.

I've had two heroes in my life: My great grandpa Bill and my great Grandma Skip. Neither of those were their actual names. My grandpa's name was Lovick and my grandma's name was Nova. My grandpa passed away 4 years ago from Alzheimer's and well, my grandma passed away about 6 hours ago from heart failure. Five months ago she had heart surgery (at 91 years old), her recovery over the past five months has been really rough. We didn't think she would make it past March, my brother and I actually flew back home to say our goodbyes, but she kept fighting and eventually gained some normal functions back (feeding herself, talking normally, almost walking, etc.). But her old heart had been through so much it was having a rough time. Since her surgery I think she's had about 4 or 5 heart attacks. The doctors said her heart was just giving out. Though I don't know a lot of details about what happened today, my mom said she had another one today and they couldn't get her to the hospital in time. She was gone too fast.

The sucky part about death, aside from the obvious, is people's reactions to it. Everyone wants to talk to you and see if you're okay; they all want to reminisce on the good times and try to sympathize with you. I don't know about everyone else but I don't want to talk to people about it. I'm clearly not okay but my way of coping isn't to sit and swap stories, I deal with it on my own. If I talk about it, I'll start crying and the last thing I want to do is start once I've finally stopped. And people always ask the age of the person, as if their age makes it less painful - "Oh, she was 91, well Piper she lived a long life". Is that supposed to make it okay? Her living a long life has meant that she's been a huge part of my life for my entire 22 years of existence, but because she lived longer it's easier? It's not. And what's the proper response when someone says "I'm sorry for your loss"? I say "thank you" but that never seems quite right; I've said "me too" but then I feel ungrateful for their empathy; I'd rather just say nothing at all but then I feel cold.

My grandma Skip was the greatest lady I've ever known. She was a spunky old lady from the south who had a heart of gold. She was sarcastic, but she loved everyone she met.  She was hilarious and her smile and laugh were just about the cutest things ever. Not to mention her faith and love for God were inspiring. I hope that I'm half the woman and wife that she was. This world isn't going to be the same without her in it, but I can't blame her for wanting to party with Jesus and for wanting to see my grandpa again. She was never the same without him. She used to tell me, "Piper, sometimes I think that if I could just touch him one more time, I'd feel so much better". Now she can do that, now after four hard years without the love of her life she can finally feel better. The rest of us that are left behind have to keep that in mind and try to pick up the pieces. After four years I still cry at the drop of a dime when I think of my grandpa, and I know that I'll do the same four, ten, probably twenty years from now when I think of both of them, but "how lucky am I to have  known a person who was so hard to say goodbye to".

Goodbye grandma. Words can never express how much I'll miss you. I love you.