My Birth Story

I figure now that my son is almost a month old, I'd better get to writing his birth story! I meant to do this a while ago, but got busy being mommy :)

My due date was Monday October 21 and I had been on maternity leave for a week. For that week I had been trying to naturally induce because I was so impatient! No worries, my doctor knew what I was doing and actually encouraged it, so I tried everything. I ate spicy food, I walked for a couple miles every day, I tried nipple stimulation with my breast pump, and John and I...well you know ;) haha. But nothing worked! Monday came and went and I was soo impatient!

Tuesday morning I woke up at 8:40 and I thought maybe my water had broken, but I wasn't sure. I knew it didn't gush out like in the movies so I thought maybe this was the start of things. But just to make sure I waited to see if contractions started. At 9:40 my contractions did start, they were about 11 minutes apart and lasted 40 seconds. After an hour of that I called my doctor to ask for an appointment later that day because I wasn't sure if my water had broken and for those of you don't know, when your water breaks you're kind of on a time clock at that point because your risk of infection increases. So I called my doctor, told her what was going on and they wanted to see me around 4:30. Around 12:40 my contractions were about 5 minutes apart but still only lasting 40 seconds. They were getting more intense so I called John at work and told him he needed to come home.

Not long after he came home my doctor's office called and said that my doctor had gotten called in for a delivery and they needed to move up my appointment to 2:15. I thought, "thank God because these are getting really painful!". So just in case, when the time came for my appointment we packed the car and headed down. By now my contractions were 4 minutes apart and 50-55 seconds long. By the time we got to the hospital I was in a bit of pain and told John to call the OB office, cancel my appointment and take me straight to registration. And that's just what we did.

They took me up to labor and delivery, checked my progression and I was 4 cm dilated so they went ahead and admitted me. I was really nervous that they'd just send us home, but I was so relieved when they told us we could stay! They wheeled me into the delivery room and I got the biggest birthing suit in the hospital. It was huge and the view was beautiful, even though I wasn't really in the mood to admire it. For the first little while I labored on the bed, I was so tired and after each contraction I just wanted to lay my head down and rest. I'm not really sure about times at this point because I told John to cover the clock so I wouldn't sit and watch it. But not long after we got into the room I decided to get into the jetted tub and try laboring in there for a little bit. The warm water helped in between the contractions, the jets hurt so I didn't use those, but the contractions were still just as painful. I stayed in there a while and tried to relax, then after probably an hour in the tub I got out and sat on the birthing ball. The birthing ball was awesome. Somehow the swaying motion it provided really helped with the contractions, but after sitting on the ball for a while my back started to hurt and I just wanted to lie down again. So back to the bed I went. I'm not sure what time it was but my nurse asked if I wanted to try a pain reliever...and for the life of me I can't think of the name right now, but my goal was a natural delivery so I was a little weary. She assured me that the drug would only last an hour at the longest, but that it would give me a chance to rest. So I accepted it. That hour was amazing. I still felt the contractions, though they weren't as bad as before, but that rest I was able to get really helped me the rest of the night. After that hour my midwife came in and checked to see how far along I was and I was 7 cm. My birth plan was a water birth and so she asked me if I still wanted to proceed with that. I was honestly on the fence. The contractions were so painful I wanted an epidural, but she and John encouraged me to at least try the birthing pool before making the decision. So I did. The birthing pool to me was a lot like the jetted tub, it felt nice in between the contractions but it didn't help with the actual contractions themselves. By now it was around 11:00 pm (I think I asked what time it was) and I was in a hell of a lot of pain. I was making sounds I'd never heard myself make before in my life. I told John that I couldn't do it anymore, that it wasn't just a moment of weakness, and that I really wanted the epidural. The delivery nurse called in my midwife to check to see how far along I was and I was fully dilated- no epidural for me.

I couldn't find a position that was comfortable enough for me to feel like I could deliver in the birthing pool. So I got back in the bed. My midwife broke my water and encouraged me to start pushing. *Not sure if you caught that part, but that means that my water did not break that morning*. I tried pushing but my body wasn't telling me to push yet so I wasn't doing it right. My midwife told me to wait until my body told me to push but I thought, "No, if pushing is what's going to get this baby out I'm pushing!" So I continued to push incorrectly until my body finally decided it was ready to push. That sounds silly, but pushing isn't something you can practice or be told how to do....your body will do it naturally and if it's not ready, well you'll probably do it wrong. I tried pushing while lying down and then I tried pushing using the bar that they attach to the bed. I think that's what really progressed this stage for me. But then I was exhausted and really needed to lie down, so that's what I did. I kept pushing and pushing but felt like I was getting nowhere. Then my midwife told me that Pierce was stuck behind my pelvic bone. He kept hitting it every time I pushed. Eventually my midwife had to reach in me (talk about painful!) and try to help him come up over my bone. I continued to push, his little head popped out, and then my midwife told me to just hold it there. I thought, "Wtf! I can't hold it here! This hurts!". She was trying to keep me from tearing, which I appreciate now, but at the time I just wanted him out! So I held him there. Then she told me I could push again, but his shoulders were stuck. I don't know how long I pushed with his shoulders being stuck, but I remember yelling, "Can't you just pull him out?!" and then they did.

John was able to catch Pierce and cut his umbilical cord. They immediately placed my baby boy on my chest and little man was ready to eat! But part of his amniotic sac had broken off inside of me and was causing me to hemorrhage. Luckily for me, my midwife was on the ball and immediately started working to get the pieces out. I was holding Pierce this whole time. Though it was painful with them trying to get those pieces out, I was really more focused on the precious little boy laying on my chest. He was born at 1:51 AM on Wednesday October 23rd. He was 7 pounds 4 ounces and 19 inches long.  After they got the bleeding under control I was able to nurse and Pierce latched right away! His latch was great and he nursed for an hour right off the bat. The delivery nurse kept commenting on how she had never seen a newborn take to feeding so fast and feed for so long. Luckily he's still a great eater. Some people say their baby came out latching well but struggled the next day or what have you, but nursing is something he does extremely well. We're blessed that way.

But back to my story. Pierce was so calm when he was first born. He cried for a couple seconds when he came out, but he didn't cry at all after that for a while. John bathed him and he didn't cry, he had his shots and he didn't cry...he was such a trooper and so calm. We were finally able to go to our patient room around 5:00 AM. John slept, I did not. I was too consumed with my little man. I couldn't stop watching him, and when he was sleeping I was so paranoid that I stayed awake making sure that he was still breathing. We went home the next day around 6:00 PM .

I don't regret anything about his birth or my experience. I was able to achieve a natural birth which was what I wanted and although it was incredibly painful I'm glad I stuck it out (even if it was because I was too late in asking for the epidural ;)). I will be honest in saying that next time I'll get the epidural, but this time around I'm glad I didn't.

Pierce is the best thing to have happened to me. He's my angel. I never knew what it was like to love so immensely and immediately. Without further ado, here's my baby boy:

Pierce Robert minutes after birth

Pierce Robert 3 weeks old 

B

36 Weeks and Counting

Woa have I been MIA or what??

We've been super busy getting ready for baby Pierce's arrival. We only have 28 more days until our due date, but everyone thinks he's going to come early. And I agree. So while I'm counting down from 28, I secretly hope that we really don't have that long to wait.

As of today I feel that he could come any time and we would be ready :) We have everything that we would need right away, and almost everything we need period. The only things left are a crib mattress which we will be getting next week, and sheets for the crib and changing table. That's it. After that we have everything :)

I've done a lot of work on the nursery the past couple weeks and it's so nice to see it all come together. We've got our decorations up; I painted his dresser and reassembled it; I painted his bookends; I made a baby mobile; we received a glider from my mom today and it's assembled and I'm currently working on his baby quilt :) I love all of it!

His co-sleeper is set up next to our bed, our baby monitors are charged and set up, I received my breast pump today, our hospital bag is almost fully packed, and we're interviewing pediatricians.

Four weeks ago I didn't feel ready at all. There was still such a huge list of things we needed to get done and not having the nursery finished (or even close to finished) was stressing me out. But now, I'm ready. I'm so ready :)

We even started sleeping with his blanket we plan on taking to the hospital so it smells like mommy and daddy. I was pretty sure John would think it was weird or silly, but the other morning he was sleeping with it :) he's so cute :)

So hopefully in 28 days (or less) I'll have baby photos to post, but until then I'll probably continue to be MIA and just relax and enjoy the last few weeks John and I have to ourselves :)

Days Away from My Third Trimester

I'm now coming up to my third trimester in just a couple days and I'm feeling a huge mix of emotions. I'm excited, impatient, nervous, overwhelmed. happy, tired, ready and everything in between. Most of all though I'm just ready to hold him and kiss him and do nothing but stare at my baby for days :)

I feel like I've had a pretty easy pregnancy so far. My only complaints have been morning sickness in the first trimester, a hard time sleeping in the second (fixed by my amazing maternity pillow), leg cramps that I've learned to get rid of at the slightest tingle of them, and tailbone pain (also known as coccyx pain that I'm still dealing with). 

I've also been very blessed by the mom's at work and my family. We've been given so many items that John and I just wouldn't be able to afford right now. We've been swimming in baby clothes for months and I keep finding bags of clothes to be washed and hung up. I've actually gotten to the point where if a parent at work comes in with more baby clothes I turn around and give it away to my sister-in-law. We've been given multiples of some items like bouncers and walkers so that I've actually been able to be picky and keep the ones we like best and give the others away. A few days ago I started to stress and think "if something went wrong and I had to have an emergency c-section or be induced right away would we have everything we need for him right now?" and we didn't; we didn't have a place for him to sleep. We have a crib, but no mattress or sheets, no play yard, no bassinet...and I started to worry. The next day a mom at work came in with a co-sleeper she wanted to give us. Prayer answered. I'm seriously amazed at how God has blessed us throughout this entire pregnancy. He is so good!

I am getting a bit discouraged though because it's been my plan from the very beginning to have a natural birth, and a water birth. Unfortunately natural childbirth is so uncommon these days that people are very discouraging whenever they hear about someone attempting it. I feel like I don't have much support in my decision and it's starting to make me really upset. My grandma keeps telling me how she doesn't think I can do it; how she thinks I'm "too small" to give birth naturally (I don't even know what that means...); that I don't know what I'm getting into; that I think it's a joke (which I most certainly do not) etc, etc. Then I have moms at work that think it's cute that I want to try a natural birth but have the attitude of " we'll see how you feel when you're actually in labor". I think it's sad that this is the attitude I've received so far. Why is it so unbelievable for a mother to give birth naturally when women have done it for thousands of years? When this is what our bodies were made for? And when in many countries (aside from North America) having epidurals is a rarity? 

I've found one source of encouragement in a friend who's been through it twice and I'm hoping talking to her will continue to encourage me and help me feel capable. And for future reference, if anyone else needs that person to be an encouragement I'll be that for you, because I'm disappointed in how those around me have responded to my decision and I would hate for a mother to change her mind on a natural birth due to a lack of support. My mind is not changing because of these naysayers, I'm firm in my decision for a multitude of reasons, but it would be nice to hear a "you can do it" at least some of the time.

Pregnancy Productivity

This week I finished painting the nursery :) I LOVE how it turned out

We went with a tan base on all four walls and then charcoal gray stripes on the accent wall that will be behind the crib :)

And then we'll have red accents throughout the room :)

After I finished painting I moved all the baby stuff back into the nursery where it belongs. We now have baby clothes hanging in the closet, and the changing table set up and organized with diapers, diaper cream, baby lotion and soap, as well as health stuff like our thermometer, nail clips, all that jazz. I've got his toys in his toy box, and we got his carseat and stroller set up. The carseat even has toys dangling and a little carseat cover on it already. I was on a roll; I wanted to get everything that we had set up right away! 

I also finished filling out my FMLA paperwork. After going back and forth about whether or not we could afford day care (even at my center) we've decided that we will be better off paying the ungodly daycare cost than having me stay at home or even getting a part time job. It was a tough decision, and one that caused a few disagreements, but we've decided that baby will in fact come to work with me and my amazing husband will pick up a second job to help afford the cost. I really hate that he has to work two jobs just so we can afford day care, but we would lose more with me quitting my job. I think it's horrible how expensive day care costs are. I've always heard how expensive it was, but I never knew how expensive until we started looking into it. And the worst part is there's no help in paying the cost (if you have a full time job). Ridiculous.  So anyway, I'll be going back to work 6 weeks after baby boy is born. Soon? Yes, extremely, but me not working is going to be tough on us financially and since he's coming to work with me I get to be with him all day whether I'm working or not, so I might as well help bring in some money (especially since the holidays will be right around the corner!). 

So that's my pregnancy productivity this week. I'm hoping I can talk John into setting up the crib this weekend so I can add that to the list. I love seeing the nursery come together. It's starting to look just like I pictured! :)

Productivity

This week work is really slow. I've only been doing half days going in at 12:30 and as much as that will suck come next paycheck, it's been nice to get stuff done that we really needed to get done.

Here's my productivity list:
- Almost finished painting the nursery

it may not look like much yet, but underneath those five coats of white paint is a very ugly dark brown, and those walls were a boring white. drastic changes here guys

- Put up our fireplace mantle  (a project I wanted done as soon as we moved in over a year ago...)

that mantle was unfinished wood that I stained. I think I did a pretty good job

- Registered for the hospital
- Sent in our financial paperwork for the hospital
- Started filling out my FMLA forms
- Did a project for my classroom

On top of keeping the house clean! Our house always looks like a hurricane went through it by Tuesday, but now it's  Thursday Eve and the house still looks great :)

I've been stressing about getting all of the above done, and now it's finished :) well, okay the nursery isn't finished, but we're sure gettin there!

Oh and in other news, John finally felt little lamb kick!!! For weeks every time John's tried to feel him kick Pierce stops. He could be kicking up a storm and literally as soon as John would put his hand on my tummy, he would go completely still. Tonight we were lying on the couch and I pulled John's hand to my stomach and told him to just wait and it happened :) John felt it :) not once either, he felt him multiple times! Every time  Pierce would kick John would say something like "there he is" "there's another one" "he just kicked" lol it was so cute :)

I also bought my maternity swimsuit for Maui tonight. Some haters have said some very blunt things to me recently about me going to Maui while pregnant, things like, "you're going like that??" while pointing at my belly or "why are you going to Maui? you don't exactly have a bikini body". After these comments I had full intentions of getting a maternity bikini and flaunting my big prego belly, but I couldn't find one that didn't break our bank :/ Too bad too because I would have rocked that bikini even if I am 6 months pregnant! But the one I bought is still pretty cute I think, even if my belly will be covered ;)

see? cute :)

16 days till Hawaii!!!

This week is turning out to be pretty darn good

Pregnancy Survey Week 21

How far along? 21 weeks 4 days :)

Total weight gain/loss: 11 pounds, including what I originally lost

Maternity clothes? I need more! Hardly any of my clothes fit me now a days. Dresses, workout clothes and leggings are my best friends right now

Stretch marks? None yet :)

Sleep: Still rough for me. My legs still go numb from sleeping on my sides

Best moment this week: Feeling him move more. He's been moving so much this weeks it's been crazy! Today I actually saw my belly move from a kick

Movement: A ton! See above

Food cravings: Chocolate. Chocolate milkshakes in particular. Apple beer and burritos from Taco Maker (unfortunately the last two don't exist in Oregon)

Gender: Little lamb is a BOY!! <3

Labor Signs: Zero. Let's keep it that way for a while

Belly Button in or out? It's completely even with my belly. It's not gonna be in much longer

Wedding rings on or off?  On

What I miss: Apple beer and burritos from Taco Maker haha but also feta cheese and diet coke....and coffee

What I am looking forward to: Our next appointment in a couple weeks. Getting the nursery finished. And John being able to feel movement. 

Weekly Wisdom: If you're sick (which I am) you can take Tylenol and Robotussin (I butchered that spelling, didn't I?). Since I'm not letting myself take any medicines (they say they're safe, but it makes me nervous) emergen-c does the trick :) Load up on liquids and vitamin C! 

Milestones: I've felt more movement this week than I ever have. I'm really hoping John will start feeling all these kicks soon too!

Baby Updates

I know Pierce has been able to hear for a while now, but I think his hearing is improving because the other day at work I was sitting feeding a baby while another baby was having a total meltdown right next to me, and as I was sitting there (don't worry, meltdown baby was being taken care of by my co-teacher) I felt him kick 15 times! FIFTEEN! Before then I hadn't felt more than four kicks total, but fifteen at once?? It made my entire day!

Since finding out that we're having a boy I've officially started on the nursery. So far I don't have much done...like, hardly anything done. I started painting the trim a week ago, and I'm still working on it. The original trim was an ugly dark brown and because I'm painting it white it's taking quite a few coats to cover completely. Also, I'm still waiting for John to move out the guest bed in there so I can paint behind it, so far I've only been able to paint around the bed. That's our project for today though- to finish the trim, and to get the bed out. I think that once the painting is done though I'll feel more accomplished because we can move the stuff we do have into the nursery. We still need to get a dresser or armoire (I really want an armoire but we'll see if I can find one that doesn't cost an arm & a leg) and a glider, but aside from those two things I think all of the big items are purchased. We have been so blessed by the people around us! We have had so many items given to us and a couple bought for us, items that would have cost us a lot of money. We are so grateful for everyone's genuine excitement and generosity towards us <3

On a different note, last Sunday I was at my niece's 1st birthday party when suddenly she opens a gift that says "Kennedy (that's her name) is going to be a big sister!" Come to find out John's brother is expecting another baby 4 weeks after we are!! They're just now telling people so I still forget sometimes that Jaici is almost just as far along as I am haha but we're excited that Pierce will have a cousin that's so close in age :) John's cousin's wife is also expecting a little girl 4 weeks before us...there are going to be lots of little cousins running around at family functions. I loved having my cousins around when I was little, and John is extremely close to his- we love that our baby boy will have the same fun experiences.

Happy To Announce

Pierce Robert Merrigan 

We are now halfway through the pregnancy with a very healthy baby boy weighing in at 11.4 ounces!!

A Little John or A Little Me?

We had our big ultrasound on Thursday and it was one of the best days during this pregnancy so far. We don't have the results back yet, but we'll have them Monday. I was so excited to see our little bundle!! Baby went from being a little dot on a photo to an actual baby!

My friend went with me to see the ultrasound because John is in Utah for a friend's wedding. I was extremely  upset that John couldn't be there, I cried. But he was on speaker phone with me when she revealed the sex :)

I can't reveal whether baby Merrigan is a boy or girl yet because John and I are going to do a gender/name reveal on Monday when he's home. But I am super excited and immediately went out and bought gender specific items :)

The ultrasound was surreal. It's amazing how much you can see with just that little wand. I saw the brain, the heart, every vertebrae of the spine, we even saw arteries...how crazy is that?! The baby was moving around a lot, kicking and rolling, but I couldn't feel anything. I told the technician I was worried that I didn't feel much movement (and wasn't feeling any at the time) so she looked at the placenta and come to find out I have an anterior placenta, meaning that the placenta is in front of the baby blocking me from feeling a lot of the movement. This isn't a bad thing necessarily, just where the placenta happened to land, and she said that all that means is that it'll take longer for me to feel constant movement. Which kinda sucks, because I love feeling the movement whenever I do.

I really didn't think I'd cry. And I was doing really well at first. But then I saw those cute little baby toes and I couldn't help myself. They are the most precious baby toes I've ever seen in my life. While the technician was trying to get a 3D picture of the face the baby wasn't really cooperating- moving, rolling, not facing the camera, putting his/her hands in front of his/her face whenever she went to take the picture haha she was wiggling my belly trying to get baby to turn the right way...it was kind of funny. And when she did that baby rubbed those adorable little eyes like (s)he was tired...and I cried again.

I've loved this baby since I found out I was pregnant, but it's amazing how much closer I feel to the baby after actually seeing the little face, and the little hands, and the little feet. Now this baby is a definite sex, and now this baby has a definite name....it makes it so much more real.

I can't stop staring at the ultrasound photos. Trying to wrap my head around the fact that right now, as I type this a little baby is actually in my tummy....my baby with that cute little face, and those adorable little toes....that there is an actual human being inside of me that gets tired and rubs his/her eyes. A little baby that looks like me or John...or hopefully a mixture of the two....

So without further ado, here is our little baby

I'm tellin' ya...there's something about those feet that get to me every time...

<3

does baby look like a little John, a little Piper, a little of both?

I'm so excited to meet this little one. To be this baby's mommy. This is one of the best things that's ever happened to me and that will ever happen to me, hands down. I feel so blessed and honored that God has made this little human specifically with John and I in mind, to make the perfect addition to our little family, to teach us and to hopefully help us be the best parents we can possibly be. 

I love you little lamb <3

our Memorial Day Weekend

I have had such a good Memorial Day weekend and it's not even Memorial Day yet.

Friday night after work I went out to dinner with a great friend. Much needed girl time! Then John and I tried to watch a movie together but both ended up falling asleep in the middle of it. Ooops.

Saturday we woke up, lounged for a little bit, I skyped Lizzie Doll, took Duke to the dog park for a while, brought him back home then John and I went out to lunch, then it was off to a mini golf date. Mini golf brought back so many memories of when we started dating. I was working at a mini golf course at the time, John would come visit me at work and I'd let him have free games.....sometimes I'd get off work and we'd play a round together. We used to go mini golfing quite a bit but haven't been since we moved out here. I loved it! I had a blast :) We made a bet on who would win....if I won I got a massage (a legit massage) and if he won he got...well, something else. Let's just say we both won in the end hahaha

Today we did some house work, I worked out, we went and looked at a daycare (that's not going to work out), then went out to lunch, came home and went on a walk with Duke, and then we went to a dinner at Tina's with the boys and our cousin Chelsea who is in town from New York.

I feel like I've been so busy this weekend and so active, I love that feeling!

We'll see what tomorrow has in store! :)

Happy Memorial Day everyone! And thank you troops for all of your sacrifices!! <3

Rock-A-Bye Baby

Both of my baby apps (I have two on my phone) said that little lamb can hear this week. I think it's just vibrations right now and not actual voices or words, but little one is hearing none the less. So I busted out my over-the-ear headphones that John got me for my birthday (for this  reason alone), played baby classical music on the computer (Rock-A-Bye Baby, anyone?), and put the headphones on my tummy. Yes, I'm totes that pregnant woman. 

And you know what? Baby responded. I thought I was crazy, I didn't expect to feel anything, but I felt so many flutters while the headphones were on! I don't know if that means baby liked it, or baby was telling me to stop, but I didn't want to stop because I wanted to keep feeling it. 

John and I go in on Friday for our next ultrasound. We haven't seen little lamb in almost 10 weeks...10 weeks! That's a long time to wait to see your baby! We've heard the heartbeat since, but in two days we'll get to actually see our little one. I'm so excited, and so ready for Friday. I wish I could just sleep through tomorrow to make it go faster. We're hoping that we can get an early prediction on the sex too. Will baby be C________ or P________?? We will see! 

More Gifts for Baby

John and I have truly been blessed with an amazing support system and are surrounded by generosity.

Last night I was babysitting one of the little boys in my class and his parents (who I love, they're the sweetest) gave us some of his old baby things. We received a bouncer, an activity mat, and a boppy pillow.  All used for only one child; all in excellent condition.

Those things are so pricey individually, even a simple boppy pillow is like $50 (ridiculous, right?) so having them give this stuff to us is such a treasure!

We have so much stuff already; I know I've said it before, but this child is so spoiled already. And we're very grateful!!