My Birth Story

I figure now that my son is almost a month old, I'd better get to writing his birth story! I meant to do this a while ago, but got busy being mommy :)

My due date was Monday October 21 and I had been on maternity leave for a week. For that week I had been trying to naturally induce because I was so impatient! No worries, my doctor knew what I was doing and actually encouraged it, so I tried everything. I ate spicy food, I walked for a couple miles every day, I tried nipple stimulation with my breast pump, and John and I...well you know ;) haha. But nothing worked! Monday came and went and I was soo impatient!

Tuesday morning I woke up at 8:40 and I thought maybe my water had broken, but I wasn't sure. I knew it didn't gush out like in the movies so I thought maybe this was the start of things. But just to make sure I waited to see if contractions started. At 9:40 my contractions did start, they were about 11 minutes apart and lasted 40 seconds. After an hour of that I called my doctor to ask for an appointment later that day because I wasn't sure if my water had broken and for those of you don't know, when your water breaks you're kind of on a time clock at that point because your risk of infection increases. So I called my doctor, told her what was going on and they wanted to see me around 4:30. Around 12:40 my contractions were about 5 minutes apart but still only lasting 40 seconds. They were getting more intense so I called John at work and told him he needed to come home.

Not long after he came home my doctor's office called and said that my doctor had gotten called in for a delivery and they needed to move up my appointment to 2:15. I thought, "thank God because these are getting really painful!". So just in case, when the time came for my appointment we packed the car and headed down. By now my contractions were 4 minutes apart and 50-55 seconds long. By the time we got to the hospital I was in a bit of pain and told John to call the OB office, cancel my appointment and take me straight to registration. And that's just what we did.

They took me up to labor and delivery, checked my progression and I was 4 cm dilated so they went ahead and admitted me. I was really nervous that they'd just send us home, but I was so relieved when they told us we could stay! They wheeled me into the delivery room and I got the biggest birthing suit in the hospital. It was huge and the view was beautiful, even though I wasn't really in the mood to admire it. For the first little while I labored on the bed, I was so tired and after each contraction I just wanted to lay my head down and rest. I'm not really sure about times at this point because I told John to cover the clock so I wouldn't sit and watch it. But not long after we got into the room I decided to get into the jetted tub and try laboring in there for a little bit. The warm water helped in between the contractions, the jets hurt so I didn't use those, but the contractions were still just as painful. I stayed in there a while and tried to relax, then after probably an hour in the tub I got out and sat on the birthing ball. The birthing ball was awesome. Somehow the swaying motion it provided really helped with the contractions, but after sitting on the ball for a while my back started to hurt and I just wanted to lie down again. So back to the bed I went. I'm not sure what time it was but my nurse asked if I wanted to try a pain reliever...and for the life of me I can't think of the name right now, but my goal was a natural delivery so I was a little weary. She assured me that the drug would only last an hour at the longest, but that it would give me a chance to rest. So I accepted it. That hour was amazing. I still felt the contractions, though they weren't as bad as before, but that rest I was able to get really helped me the rest of the night. After that hour my midwife came in and checked to see how far along I was and I was 7 cm. My birth plan was a water birth and so she asked me if I still wanted to proceed with that. I was honestly on the fence. The contractions were so painful I wanted an epidural, but she and John encouraged me to at least try the birthing pool before making the decision. So I did. The birthing pool to me was a lot like the jetted tub, it felt nice in between the contractions but it didn't help with the actual contractions themselves. By now it was around 11:00 pm (I think I asked what time it was) and I was in a hell of a lot of pain. I was making sounds I'd never heard myself make before in my life. I told John that I couldn't do it anymore, that it wasn't just a moment of weakness, and that I really wanted the epidural. The delivery nurse called in my midwife to check to see how far along I was and I was fully dilated- no epidural for me.

I couldn't find a position that was comfortable enough for me to feel like I could deliver in the birthing pool. So I got back in the bed. My midwife broke my water and encouraged me to start pushing. *Not sure if you caught that part, but that means that my water did not break that morning*. I tried pushing but my body wasn't telling me to push yet so I wasn't doing it right. My midwife told me to wait until my body told me to push but I thought, "No, if pushing is what's going to get this baby out I'm pushing!" So I continued to push incorrectly until my body finally decided it was ready to push. That sounds silly, but pushing isn't something you can practice or be told how to do....your body will do it naturally and if it's not ready, well you'll probably do it wrong. I tried pushing while lying down and then I tried pushing using the bar that they attach to the bed. I think that's what really progressed this stage for me. But then I was exhausted and really needed to lie down, so that's what I did. I kept pushing and pushing but felt like I was getting nowhere. Then my midwife told me that Pierce was stuck behind my pelvic bone. He kept hitting it every time I pushed. Eventually my midwife had to reach in me (talk about painful!) and try to help him come up over my bone. I continued to push, his little head popped out, and then my midwife told me to just hold it there. I thought, "Wtf! I can't hold it here! This hurts!". She was trying to keep me from tearing, which I appreciate now, but at the time I just wanted him out! So I held him there. Then she told me I could push again, but his shoulders were stuck. I don't know how long I pushed with his shoulders being stuck, but I remember yelling, "Can't you just pull him out?!" and then they did.

John was able to catch Pierce and cut his umbilical cord. They immediately placed my baby boy on my chest and little man was ready to eat! But part of his amniotic sac had broken off inside of me and was causing me to hemorrhage. Luckily for me, my midwife was on the ball and immediately started working to get the pieces out. I was holding Pierce this whole time. Though it was painful with them trying to get those pieces out, I was really more focused on the precious little boy laying on my chest. He was born at 1:51 AM on Wednesday October 23rd. He was 7 pounds 4 ounces and 19 inches long.  After they got the bleeding under control I was able to nurse and Pierce latched right away! His latch was great and he nursed for an hour right off the bat. The delivery nurse kept commenting on how she had never seen a newborn take to feeding so fast and feed for so long. Luckily he's still a great eater. Some people say their baby came out latching well but struggled the next day or what have you, but nursing is something he does extremely well. We're blessed that way.

But back to my story. Pierce was so calm when he was first born. He cried for a couple seconds when he came out, but he didn't cry at all after that for a while. John bathed him and he didn't cry, he had his shots and he didn't cry...he was such a trooper and so calm. We were finally able to go to our patient room around 5:00 AM. John slept, I did not. I was too consumed with my little man. I couldn't stop watching him, and when he was sleeping I was so paranoid that I stayed awake making sure that he was still breathing. We went home the next day around 6:00 PM .

I don't regret anything about his birth or my experience. I was able to achieve a natural birth which was what I wanted and although it was incredibly painful I'm glad I stuck it out (even if it was because I was too late in asking for the epidural ;)). I will be honest in saying that next time I'll get the epidural, but this time around I'm glad I didn't.

Pierce is the best thing to have happened to me. He's my angel. I never knew what it was like to love so immensely and immediately. Without further ado, here's my baby boy:

Pierce Robert minutes after birth

Pierce Robert 3 weeks old 

B

36 Weeks and Counting

Woa have I been MIA or what??

We've been super busy getting ready for baby Pierce's arrival. We only have 28 more days until our due date, but everyone thinks he's going to come early. And I agree. So while I'm counting down from 28, I secretly hope that we really don't have that long to wait.

As of today I feel that he could come any time and we would be ready :) We have everything that we would need right away, and almost everything we need period. The only things left are a crib mattress which we will be getting next week, and sheets for the crib and changing table. That's it. After that we have everything :)

I've done a lot of work on the nursery the past couple weeks and it's so nice to see it all come together. We've got our decorations up; I painted his dresser and reassembled it; I painted his bookends; I made a baby mobile; we received a glider from my mom today and it's assembled and I'm currently working on his baby quilt :) I love all of it!

His co-sleeper is set up next to our bed, our baby monitors are charged and set up, I received my breast pump today, our hospital bag is almost fully packed, and we're interviewing pediatricians.

Four weeks ago I didn't feel ready at all. There was still such a huge list of things we needed to get done and not having the nursery finished (or even close to finished) was stressing me out. But now, I'm ready. I'm so ready :)

We even started sleeping with his blanket we plan on taking to the hospital so it smells like mommy and daddy. I was pretty sure John would think it was weird or silly, but the other morning he was sleeping with it :) he's so cute :)

So hopefully in 28 days (or less) I'll have baby photos to post, but until then I'll probably continue to be MIA and just relax and enjoy the last few weeks John and I have to ourselves :)

Pregnancy Survey Week 26

How far along? 26 weeks exactly :)

Total weight gain/loss: I'm not sure....it was 11 pounds a couple weeks ago but then we went to Maui and I'm SURE I gained a couple there haha

Maternity clothes? lots of stretchy waistband shorts and dresses

Stretch marks? They've finally come :/

Sleep: Getting a little better. I finally got a huge pregnancy pillow and let me tell ya it's a lifesaver!!

Best moment this week: The week just started, can I use a moment from last week? Cuz that would be my brother and sister feeling him kick :)

Movement: A ton and his kicks are getting harder. I swear this kid does karate in there. 

Food cravings: Chocolate...lots of chocolate

Gender: Baby boy :) 

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? I've got an outie folks

Wedding rings on or off?  Off. I might be able to wear them some days, but it's been so hot I don't even try any more 

What I miss: Caffeine. 

What I am looking forward to: Our next appointment and our maternity pictures next month 

Weekly Wisdom: Pay the money for a pregnancy pillow. Don't try body surfing while pregnant. And listen to people's opinion about pregnancy/labor/delivery...but stick to what feels right for you and your baby.

Milestones: We've hit the double digits! 98 more days until our due date :D

Productivity

This week work is really slow. I've only been doing half days going in at 12:30 and as much as that will suck come next paycheck, it's been nice to get stuff done that we really needed to get done.

Here's my productivity list:
- Almost finished painting the nursery

it may not look like much yet, but underneath those five coats of white paint is a very ugly dark brown, and those walls were a boring white. drastic changes here guys

- Put up our fireplace mantle  (a project I wanted done as soon as we moved in over a year ago...)

that mantle was unfinished wood that I stained. I think I did a pretty good job

- Registered for the hospital
- Sent in our financial paperwork for the hospital
- Started filling out my FMLA forms
- Did a project for my classroom

On top of keeping the house clean! Our house always looks like a hurricane went through it by Tuesday, but now it's  Thursday Eve and the house still looks great :)

I've been stressing about getting all of the above done, and now it's finished :) well, okay the nursery isn't finished, but we're sure gettin there!

Oh and in other news, John finally felt little lamb kick!!! For weeks every time John's tried to feel him kick Pierce stops. He could be kicking up a storm and literally as soon as John would put his hand on my tummy, he would go completely still. Tonight we were lying on the couch and I pulled John's hand to my stomach and told him to just wait and it happened :) John felt it :) not once either, he felt him multiple times! Every time  Pierce would kick John would say something like "there he is" "there's another one" "he just kicked" lol it was so cute :)

I also bought my maternity swimsuit for Maui tonight. Some haters have said some very blunt things to me recently about me going to Maui while pregnant, things like, "you're going like that??" while pointing at my belly or "why are you going to Maui? you don't exactly have a bikini body". After these comments I had full intentions of getting a maternity bikini and flaunting my big prego belly, but I couldn't find one that didn't break our bank :/ Too bad too because I would have rocked that bikini even if I am 6 months pregnant! But the one I bought is still pretty cute I think, even if my belly will be covered ;)

see? cute :)

16 days till Hawaii!!!

This week is turning out to be pretty darn good

Baby Updates

I know Pierce has been able to hear for a while now, but I think his hearing is improving because the other day at work I was sitting feeding a baby while another baby was having a total meltdown right next to me, and as I was sitting there (don't worry, meltdown baby was being taken care of by my co-teacher) I felt him kick 15 times! FIFTEEN! Before then I hadn't felt more than four kicks total, but fifteen at once?? It made my entire day!

Since finding out that we're having a boy I've officially started on the nursery. So far I don't have much done...like, hardly anything done. I started painting the trim a week ago, and I'm still working on it. The original trim was an ugly dark brown and because I'm painting it white it's taking quite a few coats to cover completely. Also, I'm still waiting for John to move out the guest bed in there so I can paint behind it, so far I've only been able to paint around the bed. That's our project for today though- to finish the trim, and to get the bed out. I think that once the painting is done though I'll feel more accomplished because we can move the stuff we do have into the nursery. We still need to get a dresser or armoire (I really want an armoire but we'll see if I can find one that doesn't cost an arm & a leg) and a glider, but aside from those two things I think all of the big items are purchased. We have been so blessed by the people around us! We have had so many items given to us and a couple bought for us, items that would have cost us a lot of money. We are so grateful for everyone's genuine excitement and generosity towards us <3

On a different note, last Sunday I was at my niece's 1st birthday party when suddenly she opens a gift that says "Kennedy (that's her name) is going to be a big sister!" Come to find out John's brother is expecting another baby 4 weeks after we are!! They're just now telling people so I still forget sometimes that Jaici is almost just as far along as I am haha but we're excited that Pierce will have a cousin that's so close in age :) John's cousin's wife is also expecting a little girl 4 weeks before us...there are going to be lots of little cousins running around at family functions. I loved having my cousins around when I was little, and John is extremely close to his- we love that our baby boy will have the same fun experiences.

Pregnancy Survey 18 Weeks

How far along? 18 weeks 4 days :)

Total weight gain/loss: I lost 4 pounds and gained the 4 back a couple weeks ago. I'm sure I've gained another pound or so since, so I've actually probably only gained 1 or 2 from where I started. 

Maternity clothes? I have two maternity shirts but those are the only actual maternity clothes I wear. I wear mostly dresses/skirts, leggings, and jeans with my belly band. Shirts are a hit and miss these days.  

Stretch marks? Zero right now :)

Sleep: what's that? Just kidding, kind of. I slept on my back or stomach before I got pregnant, can't do either of those now, but sleeping on my sides makes my legs go numb so I don't do much sleeping these days. 

Best moment this week: Having a 7 day countdown to our ultrasound! Also, I bought a carseat and stroller yesterday, that was exciting 

Movement: I felt 3 kicks and I've felt other light movement

Food cravings: Orange juice was a huge one but that's passed. I don't really have any right now....except refried beans with melted cheese. That sounds good ALL the time!

Gender: we find out in 7 days! we think baby is a girl 

Labor Signs: none

Belly Button in or out? it's hangin in there, but it's almost even with my belly now. I was just telling Lizzie that today haha it looks weird

Wedding rings on or off? they're on :)

What I miss: a good nights sleep, coffee, diet coke, and feta cheese

What I am looking forward to: everything! more movement, movement that John can feel, finding out the sex, getting the nursery set up...what am I not looking forward to?!

Weekly Wisdom: I don't know if I have any wisdom yet...the second trimester has been a breeze aside from no sleep which I still haven't figured out, so I'll accept some weekly wisdom on sleeping ;)

Milestones: little flutters turned into 3 kicks this week :)

Rock-A-Bye Baby

Both of my baby apps (I have two on my phone) said that little lamb can hear this week. I think it's just vibrations right now and not actual voices or words, but little one is hearing none the less. So I busted out my over-the-ear headphones that John got me for my birthday (for this  reason alone), played baby classical music on the computer (Rock-A-Bye Baby, anyone?), and put the headphones on my tummy. Yes, I'm totes that pregnant woman. 

And you know what? Baby responded. I thought I was crazy, I didn't expect to feel anything, but I felt so many flutters while the headphones were on! I don't know if that means baby liked it, or baby was telling me to stop, but I didn't want to stop because I wanted to keep feeling it. 

John and I go in on Friday for our next ultrasound. We haven't seen little lamb in almost 10 weeks...10 weeks! That's a long time to wait to see your baby! We've heard the heartbeat since, but in two days we'll get to actually see our little one. I'm so excited, and so ready for Friday. I wish I could just sleep through tomorrow to make it go faster. We're hoping that we can get an early prediction on the sex too. Will baby be C________ or P________?? We will see! 

First Belly Photo and a Pregnancy Question

Instagram has seen it, Facebook has seen it, it's about time the blog has seen it too

My first belly photo :)

I feel like my stomach grew overnight. Although I could see a difference in my belly before, not many others could and then BOOM everyone started commenting on how I'm showing and people have been touching my belly since. 

We get to go in for our ultrasound next Friday and we're hoping we can get an early prediction on the gender. I'm a little nervous for this appointment though. At my last appointment my doctor told me I had lost weight. She said she wasn't concerned yet, but that I needed to focus on gaining it. I figured I had lost weight because I was so sick at first and could hardly eat, but I feel like I've been doing so much better ever since. I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner; I eat small snacks every 2-3 hours, I really don't know what else I could do. With this mindset I hopped on the scale a couple days ago and have only gained one pound out of the few that I lost :( 

I feel healthy, and by looking at my belly our baby is clearly growing, so should I be worried? I'm not sure. So I'm a little nervous for our appointment. 

Do any of you  moms have suggestions for gaining healthy weight? Did you have this problem, and should I be worried? Any tips would be much appreciated :) 

And the Search is Over!!

Oh man, I am so thrilled you guys!

After our loss of the name Naomi I have been searching and searching baby girl names trying to find one that John and I could both agree one. That was nearly impossible. I like unique; he likes traditional. I like modern; he likes Biblical. Oh man, it was rough. We went through tons of names; I would come up with a list and he "could deal with" about three out of twenty. So back to the drawing board I'd go. There was one name I kept putting on there hoping he would change his mind, but each time the response I got was- "eh maybe I could deal with it". But I'd slip it on the list the next time hoping for a different reaction....the reaction was the same because I don't think he ever actually remembered it from the list before haha.

Tonight John mentioned our top three picks to the boys and tried to get some more opinions on them. The boys didn't like any of them, which makes John less excited about them, and in all honesty I had my own issues with each of them anyway. Then I did it; I mentioned that one name again and John said, "hmmm...what about _________" to the boys and they approved! With the guys approval behind us, and John's "yeah, I actually like that" response, we FINALLY have a baby girl name winner!

Our top three picks that are not getting picked were:
Nova
Delaney
and
Darla

I love the idea of using Nova for reasons I've mentioned before; however, I want my baby to place their own stamp on a name, to make it their own, and every time I hear or read the name Nova I picture my great grandma. And I don't want that to change.

Delaney I still think is pretty, but it's just not meant to be our little girl (if baby is a girl....which I'm 98% sure she is). John wasn't thrilled about it but it was one of the least hated on the lists, John's friends crossed it off immediately (not that their opinion matters to me, but it does to him), and even my best friend had that "it's nice...." response which is never good haha. It just wasn't meant to be.

and lastly, Darla....I think this is the cutest name for a little girl, but that's just it- a little girl. It's one of those names that I couldn't picture as a woman's name in her 30's or so. For a little girl- darling! For a woman...I'm just not sure it grows up well.

So if anyone is looking for girl names, there's a couple ideas! Sorry if my explanations ruined them for anyone!

When we find out for sure what gender our little lamb is (hopefully on the 3rd, if not then then in June), I'll announce our names.

I was so excited about our boys name we've picked that I didn't think we could find a girls name to match my excitement, but we did!!

*Maybe if you're super curious and want to ask me privately about our names I'll tell you ;) I just don't want it publicly listed on this blog yet :)*

Now you guys don't have to hear about my rants during this stressful search! Aren't you excited now too?? haha

Gender Prediction

I think it's pretty safe to say that whenever a girl gets pregnant she starts day dreaming about who her baby will be, what they will be, what their personality will be like....and part of this curiosity in the first few months is wondering, is it a boy or is it a girl? Unless you're one of those people who doesn't want to find out, then you wonder for 9 months! Just the thought of that stresses me out haha

I've been sooo curious to know whether little lamb is a boy or a girl that I've gone so far as to look up all the ridiculous baby prediction myths (knowing full well that they're not scientifically accurate). Needless to say I get pretty mixed answers. According to the Chinese calendar I'm having a baby boy. According to my cravings and extensive nausea it's a girl. And then I stumbled upon a scientific study for gender prediction.

This study had a 97.2% accuracy in the prediction of boys and 97.5% accuracy in the prediction of girls. Basically you need to have a very early ultrasound (around 6-9 weeks) and if your baby is on the right side of the picture (that means it's actually the left side of your uterus because the image is mirrored) then you're most likely going to have a girl. If your baby is on the left side of the photo, chances are high that it's a boy.

According to the study, it looks like little lamb is a girl :)

This picture makes me smile, and giggle a little bit because I can't distinguish anything....she/he is so itty bitty! Well...was itty bitty, this was almost a month ago. 

Our next ultrasound is in two weeks and I can't wait to hear the *swoosh swoosh* of the heartbeat again :)

Although John and I are hoping for a boy, we will be ecstatic if baby is a girl. All we really care about is that little lamb is healthy :) 

Baby Merrigan

It's time to come clean blogger friends. You see, I've been keeping a secret from you...

Yes, it's true. John and I are pregnant :)

I found out I was pregnant the night before my birthday (Happy Birthday to me!!), but we were so scared that we were going to lose this one too we didn't tell anybody. We kept our faith in God, our fingers crossed and our mouths shut until we were able to see the doctor and hear our little one's heartbeat. So a few weeks ago we went in to my OB and sure enough we heard the "swoosh swoosh" of the heart- 120 bpm and everything looks great :)

My doctor and I disagree with how far along I am, but there's a bit of confusion because I got pregnant only two weeks after my miscarriage. Apparently you're super fertile after a miscarriage- who knew. So the confusion lies in me not having a typical cycle in between pregnancies, but I'm pretty positive I'm 10 weeks (doctor thinks I'm 8 but I don't think that's possible). Our due date is either October 8th (if I'm right) or October 21 (if the doctor is right).

So far this pregnancy is completely different from the last one, which is a very good thing!

For the first couple weeks I felt great! Aside from extremely sore boobs I didn't feel much different at all. And then BOOM, the nausea hit like a ton of bricks and has yet to go away. I'm nauseous 95% of the time- morning, afternoon, night, my body doesn't care. I'm not craving anything because most foods make me sick. My boobs, well, they still hurt like a mother. I get tired very easily; I'm ready for a nap by noon everyday and crash when I get home, but you know what? All these symptoms mean high pregnancy hormones, which  means a healthy baby. So if me being sick and exhausted means my baby will be healthy, I'll take this all 9 months long.

John is very excited. He was scared and nervous at first and didn't want to talk about the baby in fear of losing it, but once he heard the heartbeat it was a different story.

We've named baby, but we've had names for a while.

We have nursery themes picked out, we just have to wait a few more weeks till we can find out the gender.

And we're getting a crib soon :)

So that's where we're at. We have a very healthy baby, a very nauseous mommy, a very excited daddy, and all the other details are slowly getting taken care of as well :)

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding...

Hi guys,

Well I wrote in my last post that I would be lying low for a little while and I had intentions to do that, but things have changed. You see, New Years Eve I found out I was pregnant. I was SO excited I was actually in tears. John told me to lie low and not tell anyone, but I couldn't do that....I was too excited!! So I told my two best friends Lizzie and Courtney and my little sister Bailey, I seriously was about to burst at the seams with the news every time I saw someone. But John and I have always been on the same page when it came to sharing this news, we were going to wait until I was in my second trimester, after the risk of miscarriage went down. 

A couple days after I found out, I started bleeding. I was bleeding and cramping really bad, called my doctor and explained what was going on....there was nothing they could do, they told me to wait a few days and then go in for a check up. When I went in my doctor verified my fears, I had miscarried. I was absolutely devastated, angry and confused.

I pride myself in knowing a lot of information about pregnancy...infants...all that jazz, but I didn't know that 50% of miscarriages happen within the first 6 weeks and that's where I was at. I debated putting this super personal information in my public blog because most of my family doesn't even know and none of my friends know except for Lizzie & Courtney, but I decided to finally write it down because no one talks about it. My case could have been so much worse- I didn't hear a heartbeat or feel it kick, I didn't give birth only to realize I lost my baby, so I know people have it so much worse than me but I'm putting this out there in case it's happened to anyone who went through it and wants to talk or is going through it and wants to talk. 

For those who are wondering, I'm doing okay. I'm not great, but I'm okay. My doctor said I shouldn't have anything to worry about and this shouldn't increase my chance for another miscarriage. I'm completely healthy and we've started trying again. I'm just praying it doesn't happen next time and that 9 months from the  time I see that positive test we'll have a healthy and beautiful baby boy or girl. 

P.S. On the upside, this made us seriously consider baby names and baby things....we have officially (like officially officially, we're not even considering other names) decided on a boy's name and a girl's name. I've gotten a couple more baby things, and I'm going to start purchasing bigger baby things like strollers, carseats,  pack n' plays....all that fun stuff :) 

All In Due Time

I love my new job. I get to play with babies all day long! Sure there's some diaper changing, bottle feeding, and throw up cleaning mixed in there, but the majority of the time is spent cuddling and playing with babies and I love it. I'm still trying to find where I fit in with the people I work with, but isn't that how it always is though? That's why I hate starting new jobs. I hate being the new girl. I hate not knowing everything. I like having my routines and having friends in the workplace. I'm not quite there yet, but it'll come I'm sure.

On another note, John and I have decided not to go the military route. I'm very happy with this decision, and he is too. Kudos to everybody who lives that life, but it's not for us.

Also, super exciting news....John and I have started trying for a baby! Words can't even express how ecstatic this makes me. I'm questioning myself about announcing this to my blog (I haven't even announced it to family and have only told a couple really close friends) in case we can't get pregnant or in case it takes years. That's a major scare for me, and it happens to people! I'm doing all the right things, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything so we'll see how all this works out. Though I gotta say, I know I've been baby hungry for a very long time now, but I'll admit  the timing now seems pretty great....much greater than even 6 months ago. This new job has really opened up doors that weren't there before. I can now have dual coverage for myself as far as medical insurance goes, our income is better, and to put the cherry on the sundae- when I have a baby, my baby can come to work with me and be in our center. It's perfect. I told John a year ago that whenever the time for a baby came I wanted a job that provided a day care so I could bring our baby with me to work- I can check in on breaks and my lunch, we don't have to worry about finding a babysitter....and I didn't even know this was an option when I applied for this job. This is just more reassurance that God's timing is always better than our own!

Oh Life, You Silly Thing You

Um, so, what hasn't happened since I was last on this thing?

I'll try to go in order of events...

I got a new job. Hooray! No more drug rehab work for this girl, no siree. I got a job in a child development center on OSU's campus. It's a private center for OSU faculty and students. I'm beyond excited to work in a professional job environment, with educated people, and people who respect each other oh and babies, how could I forget the babies. I am an infant room teacher. STOKED for that by the way! I will be surrounded by infants all day every day. Serious smiles for that!

Then, my grandpa died. He died on September 11th after my grandma had signed a DNR. This whole thing has been terrible. I flew back out to Utah early last Saturday morning because the funeral was that afternoon, and I flew back home to Oregon Sunday afternoon. It was a quick trip full with tons of emotions. The service was beautiful though. We had a small viewing for family before the funeral which made it easier to accept the fact that I was where I was because it didn't look like him at all. Then we got in a limo and rode over to the mausoleum where he is buried. The mausoleum is beautiful! I can't imagine him being laid to rest anywhere else, he deserves something so different and marvelous. The service itself was cool. It was a military service which I had never seen in person before. It was complete with the trumpeter, gun salute, and presenting of the flag. There were so many people there my grandma kept saying "he would never believe all of these people were here for him!" it was awesome. They read a couple things that we had written about him (the pastor reading mine was definitely the hardest part for me personally)...the whole thing really did him justice. So job well done. Of course that doesn't make accepting reality any easier. Everyone is having a really hard time with the loss because he is seriously one of the best people this earth has known.

When I came back home I quit my job officially and signed the paperwork for my new job that I start next week.

John and I went to talk to a recruiter, although we didn't get much information because John needs to talk to an officer recruiter which apparently is different from a regular enlisted recruiter. So he's setting up an appointment to go talk with him. John and I have been discussing this whole military thing extensively, but I just have so many worries about it. Our number one worry being that we just bought this house and we're not sure we'd be able to sell it right away. I feel like we'd lose a lot of money that we don't have to lose. We'd have to get a couple things fixed that have broken since moving in, we'd probably have to come up with at least half of closing costs which we couldn't do.....this whole thing makes me wonder if the military is even an option right now. But then again John is 26 so his time is running out on becoming an officer if this is truly what he wants to do. The whole thing stresses me out. If we were in an apartment the decision would be much easier to make, we'd do it. But we haven't been in this house for longer than 6 months....to join he military right now seems crazy to me.

So that's our life right now. It's happy, it's depressing, it's stressful, but still somehow optimistic.

Looking for Guidance and Asking for Prayer

I don't even know where to start.

I'm hoping that since I've actually started typing this that the words will sort of just flow out of my fingertips.

My life kind of feels like a whirlwind right now. So much is going on, and it feels like so much can change my life in an instant.

My grandpa is still in the ICU. He's been in there for 3 weeks now. About a week and a half ago I got a call from my family telling me that he had taken a turn for the worst. I caught the next flight home to see him and was there for a little over a week. I'm so glad I got to go. I got to see him, to talk to him, although he wasn't conscious half the time, I know he knows I was there. He didn't make much progress while I was home, although when I left he was off life support which is good, but yesterday his heart stopped. Luckily they were able to revive him, but I don't know if he's going to make it out of that hospital and it terrifies me.

In addition to that, John has been seriously contemplating joining the military. He feels like maybe that's where God is leading him. We're not making any rash decisions or anything, but we're talking about it, praying about it, and we're going to go talk to a couple recruiters to get more information. I never thought I'd be a military wife. I hear from everyone how hard military life is on marriages and families so I'm not ecstatic about the idea.  A hard part for me is that all of the families (including my own) are air force families, but we don't have an air force base here in Oregon. So we're going to go talk to Navy and Army recruiters along with the Coast Guard.....but I don't know anything about how they operate. Even if we don't have a base here, is Air Force still an option if we are wiling to relocate? See, I don't know anything.

I feel like the next few months will change my life a lot. I'll keep you guys updated on everything, but in the mean time please pray for my grandpa and guidance for John? Thanks.

Healthy Food CAN Taste Good. Who Knew!

Our new healthy living style is going really well. I'm super proud of us.

John and I are (were) really unhealthy eaters. I mean, the stuff we were eating had little to no nutritional value or it would be really fatty. We would eat things like hot pockets, ramen noodles, and bean burritos for lunch; we would have alfredo pasta pretty often for dinner, store bought pizzas, or caseroles filled with cheese (cheese is our weakness).We would snack all the time on really fatty foods (like hangover nachos aka: nacho cheese doritos with cheddar cheese melted on top), and our portions were way too big (like Costco sized muffins). But today I went grocery shopping and got the stuff we had run out of, but as I looked at my cart I thought, "Wow! Look at me!" I had spinach, fruit, fat free yogurt (yoplait has really stepped up their game), 100% wheat bread, corn tortillas, fat free turkey breast, dark chocolate almond milk, fruit snacks (aka: gushers, yummy)....the list could go on cuz my cart was stacked, but 6 months ago I wouldn't have thought that I would be pushing that cart. While I was standing in line at the registers, the couple in front of me had food that we used to buy; I was looking for anything healthy in there and thought, "That's really unhealthy"....guys, I am not that person, or I wasn't that person. It made me realize how much my thought process has changed with food and I'm pretty darn proud.

Tonight at dinner it hit me again. I made tacos and a salad tonight...pretty typical right? But our meat was turkey burger, our tortillas were corn, my sour cream was actually fat free greek yogurt, and our salad was a spinach salad with dried berries and a vinaigrette. For a little dessert I had a Fiber One 90 calorie brownie. I'm not sure when the switch turned in my head, but I don't even really have to think hard about eating healthy anymore. Don't get me wrong, sometimes a king size kit kat bar looks and sounds amazing, but then I go home and eat chocolate pudding (fat free/sugar free) and I'm totally fine.

I'm glad we've finally learned how to eat healthy AND still have it be really delicious.

The Only Constant In Life...

Why is it that when you plan on changing one thing, everything else changes with it? I don't do well with big changes all at once but I feel like my life is going to be changing a lot very soon.

Where do I start? I started slumber parties. I'll be getting my kit on Monday and I'll have my first party next Friday. I'm soooo not ready for that yet!! It's kinda freakin' me out. What if no one shows up? What if no one buys anything? What if I fall flat on my ass with this thing and just blew all this money on some things I'll never use? Once my domain name is approved (www.slumberpartiesbypipermerrigan.com) I'll hopefully start getting some sales there, but in order to make money off of this I have to find consistent buyers ya know? How do I even start that? Fingers crossed that I'll actually be successful!

Next, I'm starting school again. FINALLY! I had a conference call with my professors and director of the BIS program today...it was fantastic! I'm pumped to start school and actually feel like I'm challenging my brain again. I never thought I'd miss school so much until I couldn't be in it for over a year. If all goes well I'll graduate next fall! I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna pay for it yet...probably school loans which sucks because I really didn't want to have to do that, but it looks like that's our only option right now.

And on top of all that, my brother told me tonight that he's moving to San Diego....in less than a month! I knew he was moving to San Diego, I just didn't know when. I didn't expect it to be so fast. He has been trying to find a job down there and today he got offered a position. I'm really excited for him because I think he'll really thrive down there and I think he'll be so much happier in the sunshine state rather than the state that hardly sees the sun, but I wish he was staying. It's going to be pretty hard for me to see him go. My only relative out here will be gone....I can already feel myself starting to get lonely.

On another note, John and I almost have our bedroom completely painted. We need to do one more coat on our accent wall tomorrow and then we're finished. It's taken a lot longer than we thought. We started Monday and we'll finally get to sleep in our room again on Friday. But I think the color looks great, I love it! Here's a picture of our work in progress.

House, Slumber Parties, and Weight Watchers

I really don't desert my blog for weeks at a time intentionally, it just seems to happen that way.

We're finally completely moved in, and by that I mean we've cleared out the other house, not that everything is put away because that would be way too easy. We still have boxes upon boxes, and garbage bags full of things (we ran out of boxes) that still need to find a space in our new place. But we're getting there, slowly.

I've been trying to find a second job for a while now, and every time I think I have one in the bag my pride gets a reality check. So in order to make some extra cash on the side, and because I think it'll be fun, I've decided to become a Slumber Party consultant. I'm pretty excited about it...for the most part. I'm a little scared, cuz of the whole failing miserably thing, but I'm hoping I'll be able to make a bit of money from it. I'm buying my kit tomorrow and will start training soon. Once everything is in motion and I get my website up and running I'll let you guys know my domain name so you can feel free to order stuff if you wish. No worries, if you decide to buy something a little risque, I don't get to see what you buy online ;) but seriously, if you're interested in buying something don't be afraid to hit me up and let me know. There's no room for bashfulness here.

Along with this decision though has come some..umm....unsatisfied feelings from my in-laws. They're very conservative and I understand, but I personally don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong by selling these products. Not everything is completely sexual, in fact I have some really yummy smelling lotions, oils and perfumes from their line (and we just started a men's line)...but I think John's family doesn't fully understand what I'm selling and more importantly what I'm not selling ie: myself or porn. I think this will be one of those things that we just try to ignore around his family. And I'm fine with that as long as they don't judge me for what I'm doing.

Also, John and I have decided to do the Weight Watchers program.I could afford to lose a couple pounds and John is really unhappy with his body right now, so starting Tuesday (John wanted one more day to splurge) we will be counting points and hopefully shedding the pounds (with regular exercise of course).


Well folks that's about all I've got for now. I'll keep you updated on my slumber party stuff and let you know when I get everything up an running. Cuz I mean really, everybody needs to keep things fun and fresh, and what girl has enough lotions?

Transition

Life has been really hectic for us lately. With John's new schedule and everything with the house, we're all a little exhausted.

John's still training for his new position this week so he's working graves; he sleeps during the day and works all night while I work all day and then come home to an empty house and go to bed. Meanwhile during our transition, we're still trying keep everything on track so we can close on the house in time. We've got the inspection done and it went well, we sent in our repair addendum to the sellers and thankfully there weren't any problems getting them to fix the things we wanted, we've been meeting with our mortgage banker and signing a boatload of papers, it seems like every day there's something else we need to sign, and now we're waiting on the appraisal. I gave our 30 day notice today so now we really need to work on packing up the place, which hopefully wont be too hard considering the fact that we never completely unpacked after moving in here.

The people on HGTV make closing on a house look so easy...

Home Owners

Hello, Hello!

I have some big news to announce! Drum roll please.....

WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!

Yes, that's right, we bought a house. We were pretty upset that the house we offered on last month didn't go through. We kept looking and looking, but we just couldn't get over the other house. Not that it's really spectacular or anything, but it felt right for us. So after some discussion John and I decided to try one more time. On Monday we went down to our agent's office and put in our last offer and today they accepted!

We are so excited to be moving into our new house! We're tired of the crappy rental home we're living in now and we're sooo ready to move back into Albany, into our home; we're excited to give Duke his HUGE backyard and to be so much closer to both of our jobs. Oh man, I'm so excited to not have to drive 35  minutes to get to work AND to have a dishwasher again!!! YES!

Our cute new home

God is sooo good!