36 Weeks and Counting

Woa have I been MIA or what??

We've been super busy getting ready for baby Pierce's arrival. We only have 28 more days until our due date, but everyone thinks he's going to come early. And I agree. So while I'm counting down from 28, I secretly hope that we really don't have that long to wait.

As of today I feel that he could come any time and we would be ready :) We have everything that we would need right away, and almost everything we need period. The only things left are a crib mattress which we will be getting next week, and sheets for the crib and changing table. That's it. After that we have everything :)

I've done a lot of work on the nursery the past couple weeks and it's so nice to see it all come together. We've got our decorations up; I painted his dresser and reassembled it; I painted his bookends; I made a baby mobile; we received a glider from my mom today and it's assembled and I'm currently working on his baby quilt :) I love all of it!

His co-sleeper is set up next to our bed, our baby monitors are charged and set up, I received my breast pump today, our hospital bag is almost fully packed, and we're interviewing pediatricians.

Four weeks ago I didn't feel ready at all. There was still such a huge list of things we needed to get done and not having the nursery finished (or even close to finished) was stressing me out. But now, I'm ready. I'm so ready :)

We even started sleeping with his blanket we plan on taking to the hospital so it smells like mommy and daddy. I was pretty sure John would think it was weird or silly, but the other morning he was sleeping with it :) he's so cute :)

So hopefully in 28 days (or less) I'll have baby photos to post, but until then I'll probably continue to be MIA and just relax and enjoy the last few weeks John and I have to ourselves :)

Pregnancy Productivity

This week I finished painting the nursery :) I LOVE how it turned out

We went with a tan base on all four walls and then charcoal gray stripes on the accent wall that will be behind the crib :)

And then we'll have red accents throughout the room :)

After I finished painting I moved all the baby stuff back into the nursery where it belongs. We now have baby clothes hanging in the closet, and the changing table set up and organized with diapers, diaper cream, baby lotion and soap, as well as health stuff like our thermometer, nail clips, all that jazz. I've got his toys in his toy box, and we got his carseat and stroller set up. The carseat even has toys dangling and a little carseat cover on it already. I was on a roll; I wanted to get everything that we had set up right away! 

I also finished filling out my FMLA paperwork. After going back and forth about whether or not we could afford day care (even at my center) we've decided that we will be better off paying the ungodly daycare cost than having me stay at home or even getting a part time job. It was a tough decision, and one that caused a few disagreements, but we've decided that baby will in fact come to work with me and my amazing husband will pick up a second job to help afford the cost. I really hate that he has to work two jobs just so we can afford day care, but we would lose more with me quitting my job. I think it's horrible how expensive day care costs are. I've always heard how expensive it was, but I never knew how expensive until we started looking into it. And the worst part is there's no help in paying the cost (if you have a full time job). Ridiculous.  So anyway, I'll be going back to work 6 weeks after baby boy is born. Soon? Yes, extremely, but me not working is going to be tough on us financially and since he's coming to work with me I get to be with him all day whether I'm working or not, so I might as well help bring in some money (especially since the holidays will be right around the corner!). 

So that's my pregnancy productivity this week. I'm hoping I can talk John into setting up the crib this weekend so I can add that to the list. I love seeing the nursery come together. It's starting to look just like I pictured! :)

Productivity

This week work is really slow. I've only been doing half days going in at 12:30 and as much as that will suck come next paycheck, it's been nice to get stuff done that we really needed to get done.

Here's my productivity list:
- Almost finished painting the nursery

it may not look like much yet, but underneath those five coats of white paint is a very ugly dark brown, and those walls were a boring white. drastic changes here guys

- Put up our fireplace mantle  (a project I wanted done as soon as we moved in over a year ago...)

that mantle was unfinished wood that I stained. I think I did a pretty good job

- Registered for the hospital
- Sent in our financial paperwork for the hospital
- Started filling out my FMLA forms
- Did a project for my classroom

On top of keeping the house clean! Our house always looks like a hurricane went through it by Tuesday, but now it's  Thursday Eve and the house still looks great :)

I've been stressing about getting all of the above done, and now it's finished :) well, okay the nursery isn't finished, but we're sure gettin there!

Oh and in other news, John finally felt little lamb kick!!! For weeks every time John's tried to feel him kick Pierce stops. He could be kicking up a storm and literally as soon as John would put his hand on my tummy, he would go completely still. Tonight we were lying on the couch and I pulled John's hand to my stomach and told him to just wait and it happened :) John felt it :) not once either, he felt him multiple times! Every time  Pierce would kick John would say something like "there he is" "there's another one" "he just kicked" lol it was so cute :)

I also bought my maternity swimsuit for Maui tonight. Some haters have said some very blunt things to me recently about me going to Maui while pregnant, things like, "you're going like that??" while pointing at my belly or "why are you going to Maui? you don't exactly have a bikini body". After these comments I had full intentions of getting a maternity bikini and flaunting my big prego belly, but I couldn't find one that didn't break our bank :/ Too bad too because I would have rocked that bikini even if I am 6 months pregnant! But the one I bought is still pretty cute I think, even if my belly will be covered ;)

see? cute :)

16 days till Hawaii!!!

This week is turning out to be pretty darn good

Pregnancy Survey Week 21

How far along? 21 weeks 4 days :)

Total weight gain/loss: 11 pounds, including what I originally lost

Maternity clothes? I need more! Hardly any of my clothes fit me now a days. Dresses, workout clothes and leggings are my best friends right now

Stretch marks? None yet :)

Sleep: Still rough for me. My legs still go numb from sleeping on my sides

Best moment this week: Feeling him move more. He's been moving so much this weeks it's been crazy! Today I actually saw my belly move from a kick

Movement: A ton! See above

Food cravings: Chocolate. Chocolate milkshakes in particular. Apple beer and burritos from Taco Maker (unfortunately the last two don't exist in Oregon)

Gender: Little lamb is a BOY!! <3

Labor Signs: Zero. Let's keep it that way for a while

Belly Button in or out? It's completely even with my belly. It's not gonna be in much longer

Wedding rings on or off?  On

What I miss: Apple beer and burritos from Taco Maker haha but also feta cheese and diet coke....and coffee

What I am looking forward to: Our next appointment in a couple weeks. Getting the nursery finished. And John being able to feel movement. 

Weekly Wisdom: If you're sick (which I am) you can take Tylenol and Robotussin (I butchered that spelling, didn't I?). Since I'm not letting myself take any medicines (they say they're safe, but it makes me nervous) emergen-c does the trick :) Load up on liquids and vitamin C! 

Milestones: I've felt more movement this week than I ever have. I'm really hoping John will start feeling all these kicks soon too!

A Little John or A Little Me?

We had our big ultrasound on Thursday and it was one of the best days during this pregnancy so far. We don't have the results back yet, but we'll have them Monday. I was so excited to see our little bundle!! Baby went from being a little dot on a photo to an actual baby!

My friend went with me to see the ultrasound because John is in Utah for a friend's wedding. I was extremely  upset that John couldn't be there, I cried. But he was on speaker phone with me when she revealed the sex :)

I can't reveal whether baby Merrigan is a boy or girl yet because John and I are going to do a gender/name reveal on Monday when he's home. But I am super excited and immediately went out and bought gender specific items :)

The ultrasound was surreal. It's amazing how much you can see with just that little wand. I saw the brain, the heart, every vertebrae of the spine, we even saw arteries...how crazy is that?! The baby was moving around a lot, kicking and rolling, but I couldn't feel anything. I told the technician I was worried that I didn't feel much movement (and wasn't feeling any at the time) so she looked at the placenta and come to find out I have an anterior placenta, meaning that the placenta is in front of the baby blocking me from feeling a lot of the movement. This isn't a bad thing necessarily, just where the placenta happened to land, and she said that all that means is that it'll take longer for me to feel constant movement. Which kinda sucks, because I love feeling the movement whenever I do.

I really didn't think I'd cry. And I was doing really well at first. But then I saw those cute little baby toes and I couldn't help myself. They are the most precious baby toes I've ever seen in my life. While the technician was trying to get a 3D picture of the face the baby wasn't really cooperating- moving, rolling, not facing the camera, putting his/her hands in front of his/her face whenever she went to take the picture haha she was wiggling my belly trying to get baby to turn the right way...it was kind of funny. And when she did that baby rubbed those adorable little eyes like (s)he was tired...and I cried again.

I've loved this baby since I found out I was pregnant, but it's amazing how much closer I feel to the baby after actually seeing the little face, and the little hands, and the little feet. Now this baby is a definite sex, and now this baby has a definite name....it makes it so much more real.

I can't stop staring at the ultrasound photos. Trying to wrap my head around the fact that right now, as I type this a little baby is actually in my tummy....my baby with that cute little face, and those adorable little toes....that there is an actual human being inside of me that gets tired and rubs his/her eyes. A little baby that looks like me or John...or hopefully a mixture of the two....

So without further ado, here is our little baby

I'm tellin' ya...there's something about those feet that get to me every time...

<3

does baby look like a little John, a little Piper, a little of both?

I'm so excited to meet this little one. To be this baby's mommy. This is one of the best things that's ever happened to me and that will ever happen to me, hands down. I feel so blessed and honored that God has made this little human specifically with John and I in mind, to make the perfect addition to our little family, to teach us and to hopefully help us be the best parents we can possibly be. 

I love you little lamb <3

our Memorial Day Weekend

I have had such a good Memorial Day weekend and it's not even Memorial Day yet.

Friday night after work I went out to dinner with a great friend. Much needed girl time! Then John and I tried to watch a movie together but both ended up falling asleep in the middle of it. Ooops.

Saturday we woke up, lounged for a little bit, I skyped Lizzie Doll, took Duke to the dog park for a while, brought him back home then John and I went out to lunch, then it was off to a mini golf date. Mini golf brought back so many memories of when we started dating. I was working at a mini golf course at the time, John would come visit me at work and I'd let him have free games.....sometimes I'd get off work and we'd play a round together. We used to go mini golfing quite a bit but haven't been since we moved out here. I loved it! I had a blast :) We made a bet on who would win....if I won I got a massage (a legit massage) and if he won he got...well, something else. Let's just say we both won in the end hahaha

Today we did some house work, I worked out, we went and looked at a daycare (that's not going to work out), then went out to lunch, came home and went on a walk with Duke, and then we went to a dinner at Tina's with the boys and our cousin Chelsea who is in town from New York.

I feel like I've been so busy this weekend and so active, I love that feeling!

We'll see what tomorrow has in store! :)

Happy Memorial Day everyone! And thank you troops for all of your sacrifices!! <3

A Super Mushy Post About the Love of My Life

Warning: this is going to be a pretty mushy post.

I am so overwhelmed by the love I have for my husband. I don't know if I could possibly love him anymore than I do, but my love for him keeps growing and I find myself loving him more and more every day. The past few nights I've gone to bed a little later than John and I get so excited just to sleep next to him. I get in bed, lie next to him, and I feel so lucky that I'm the one God chose to be his. I was lying in bed last night thinking that sleeping next to him is one of my favorite things- the security, love, and warmth that I feel is a feeling I hope everyone experiences with their spouse.

My husband is such a hard worker. He volunteers to work 60 hour weeks to help provide for us and our future baby. But even though he's exhausted and beat up at the end of the day, he makes sure to spend time with me and Duke every night. He's completely supportive in everything that I do and all the decisions I make whether they are personal decisions or professional. He loves his family so much and it's apparent how family-centered he is to everyone who knows him. Not only that, but he's the best friend anyone could ask for. Which explains why he has so many people that label him (and who he labels) as a "best friend".

There really are hundreds of reasons why I love him and most of them are small things that he probably doesn't even know that he does. Some of those reasons are also the same things that drive me bonkers, but even with those in mind I wouldn't change a thing about him. I love everything about who he is and what makes him tick.

I feel lucky to be so in love. In a couple months we'll have been together for 8 years and when I think back over what all has happened in those 8 years, the best things that have happened have happened because of John. My life is what it is because of him.

I warned you this was going to be mushy :) but sometimes I just can't contain it :)

And the Search is Over!!

Oh man, I am so thrilled you guys!

After our loss of the name Naomi I have been searching and searching baby girl names trying to find one that John and I could both agree one. That was nearly impossible. I like unique; he likes traditional. I like modern; he likes Biblical. Oh man, it was rough. We went through tons of names; I would come up with a list and he "could deal with" about three out of twenty. So back to the drawing board I'd go. There was one name I kept putting on there hoping he would change his mind, but each time the response I got was- "eh maybe I could deal with it". But I'd slip it on the list the next time hoping for a different reaction....the reaction was the same because I don't think he ever actually remembered it from the list before haha.

Tonight John mentioned our top three picks to the boys and tried to get some more opinions on them. The boys didn't like any of them, which makes John less excited about them, and in all honesty I had my own issues with each of them anyway. Then I did it; I mentioned that one name again and John said, "hmmm...what about _________" to the boys and they approved! With the guys approval behind us, and John's "yeah, I actually like that" response, we FINALLY have a baby girl name winner!

Our top three picks that are not getting picked were:
Nova
Delaney
and
Darla

I love the idea of using Nova for reasons I've mentioned before; however, I want my baby to place their own stamp on a name, to make it their own, and every time I hear or read the name Nova I picture my great grandma. And I don't want that to change.

Delaney I still think is pretty, but it's just not meant to be our little girl (if baby is a girl....which I'm 98% sure she is). John wasn't thrilled about it but it was one of the least hated on the lists, John's friends crossed it off immediately (not that their opinion matters to me, but it does to him), and even my best friend had that "it's nice...." response which is never good haha. It just wasn't meant to be.

and lastly, Darla....I think this is the cutest name for a little girl, but that's just it- a little girl. It's one of those names that I couldn't picture as a woman's name in her 30's or so. For a little girl- darling! For a woman...I'm just not sure it grows up well.

So if anyone is looking for girl names, there's a couple ideas! Sorry if my explanations ruined them for anyone!

When we find out for sure what gender our little lamb is (hopefully on the 3rd, if not then then in June), I'll announce our names.

I was so excited about our boys name we've picked that I didn't think we could find a girls name to match my excitement, but we did!!

*Maybe if you're super curious and want to ask me privately about our names I'll tell you ;) I just don't want it publicly listed on this blog yet :)*

Now you guys don't have to hear about my rants during this stressful search! Aren't you excited now too?? haha

Figuring Out Maternity Leave

My friend Alicia hit the nail on the head when she talked about how great October due dates are. John and I have been talking about how long I'm going to take for maternity leave, and my bosses have been asking me about it as well because they need to find a substitute teacher for my classroom, and I think October is the perfect time to take off the rest of the year.

I'm due sometime in October so I would naturally take at least 6 weeks which would put me into November, and in November we have Thanksgiving and then a month later we have Christmas and New Years Eve. Instead of worrying about getting time off for family to be here or whatever will be happening, we've decided that I will be home with the baby, get a routine going, and I won't go back to work until the beginning of the New Year. And then the amazing part happens (the amazing, yet expensive part)....baby gets to come to work with me and be in my classroom :) :)

It's going to take a lot of sacrifices to make it work financially, but one of the bonuses of my job is that my children can attend our center. Our center is a private child development center for the university professors and students, but because I work there, my baby can also come. I've already talked to my bosses and there is no conflict of interest if my baby is in my classroom. I can't think of a more perfect situation. I will get to be with my baby ALL day and still bring in a paycheck. I am so thankful that I don't have to quit my job or sacrifice time with my baby. We simply couldn't afford for me not to work, and the thought of leaving my baby with someone else after a few weeks is depressing. Even though we will be paying for baby to be at the center 5 days a week, because John has Fridays off I think baby will stay home on Fridays and get some one on one daddy time.

I know I was baby hungry a while ago, but seriously, the timing is too perfect now. I've said it before and I'll say it again, God's timing is always better than our own. Had I gotten pregnant a year ago when I wanted to, we would be struggling financially and I don't know what I would have done about work or childcare. And what better month to give birth than October because October gets the holiday roll started and I am lucky enough to get to spend all of them at home with my little family :)

Now all I have to do is figure out how maternity leave works and the whole FMLA thing works. I don't know how getting paid while on maternity leave works, but at least I have a few more months to figure it out :)

Baby Merrigan

It's time to come clean blogger friends. You see, I've been keeping a secret from you...

Yes, it's true. John and I are pregnant :)

I found out I was pregnant the night before my birthday (Happy Birthday to me!!), but we were so scared that we were going to lose this one too we didn't tell anybody. We kept our faith in God, our fingers crossed and our mouths shut until we were able to see the doctor and hear our little one's heartbeat. So a few weeks ago we went in to my OB and sure enough we heard the "swoosh swoosh" of the heart- 120 bpm and everything looks great :)

My doctor and I disagree with how far along I am, but there's a bit of confusion because I got pregnant only two weeks after my miscarriage. Apparently you're super fertile after a miscarriage- who knew. So the confusion lies in me not having a typical cycle in between pregnancies, but I'm pretty positive I'm 10 weeks (doctor thinks I'm 8 but I don't think that's possible). Our due date is either October 8th (if I'm right) or October 21 (if the doctor is right).

So far this pregnancy is completely different from the last one, which is a very good thing!

For the first couple weeks I felt great! Aside from extremely sore boobs I didn't feel much different at all. And then BOOM, the nausea hit like a ton of bricks and has yet to go away. I'm nauseous 95% of the time- morning, afternoon, night, my body doesn't care. I'm not craving anything because most foods make me sick. My boobs, well, they still hurt like a mother. I get tired very easily; I'm ready for a nap by noon everyday and crash when I get home, but you know what? All these symptoms mean high pregnancy hormones, which  means a healthy baby. So if me being sick and exhausted means my baby will be healthy, I'll take this all 9 months long.

John is very excited. He was scared and nervous at first and didn't want to talk about the baby in fear of losing it, but once he heard the heartbeat it was a different story.

We've named baby, but we've had names for a while.

We have nursery themes picked out, we just have to wait a few more weeks till we can find out the gender.

And we're getting a crib soon :)

So that's where we're at. We have a very healthy baby, a very nauseous mommy, a very excited daddy, and all the other details are slowly getting taken care of as well :)

Homesick

Have you ever made a life changing decision and afterwards you can't stop thinking if it was the right one?
I made one of those two years ago and I'm still unsure if it was the right thing to do.

I'm really homesick. I've been really homesick for two years now. I have zero family out here (John's doesn't count) and I will never have family out here. I've made a handful of friends and I can honestly say I've only made one that I would be sad leaving. In two years I've only made one friendship that I would miss. How sad is that?

I love Oregon, I really do. I love being near the ocean. I love the rain. I love how green it is all the time. But I love my family more. I hate not being there for my grandma during this whole transition of losing my grandpa. I hate not being there for my sister and her last year of high school. I hate that I can't be with my dad and celebrate with him on every holiday. I miss my friends- my real, true, lifelong friends. I miss white Christmases. I miss being home. Plain and simple.

I know John loves being able to just go crabbing on a whim. I know he loves going salmon fishing whenever he wants. I know he loves having his parents near him. But I also know that he misses his best friends like crazy because he, like me, hasn't met any of those life-long friends yet. He mentioned the other day how if we could move back he could send himself to police academy and he's sure he would be able to land a job. 

But how do we change it now? How do we just pick up again and move?

I think John and I need to have a serious talk....

Men in Tight Tights

Guess who gets to go see The Nutcracker for our 2 year wedding anniversary!! That's right! This girl!

I'm so excited! How am I possibly supposed to wait patiently for two months until we can go see it?!

I love ballets, did you know that? I really do. I love dance period. It's funny though, all the years I was a dancer I always loved watching the ballerinas but never actually wanted to try ballet. The whole tutu thing never appealed to be, but their skill, ability, and gracefulness astound me. And their flexibility. Damn are they flexible!

When I mentioned the idea to John I was readily awaiting his hesitance and groans about the subject, but instead I instantly got a "That's fine".

Say what?

 "Really?"
 "As long as it's not terribly expensive"
"It's $72 for 2 tickets"
"Yeah that'll be fine"

If I knew he would have been so accepting of this idea we would have been attending waaay more ballets, now; however, I see many in our future.

Oh my gosh. What am I gonna wear??

Oh Life, You Silly Thing You

Um, so, what hasn't happened since I was last on this thing?

I'll try to go in order of events...

I got a new job. Hooray! No more drug rehab work for this girl, no siree. I got a job in a child development center on OSU's campus. It's a private center for OSU faculty and students. I'm beyond excited to work in a professional job environment, with educated people, and people who respect each other oh and babies, how could I forget the babies. I am an infant room teacher. STOKED for that by the way! I will be surrounded by infants all day every day. Serious smiles for that!

Then, my grandpa died. He died on September 11th after my grandma had signed a DNR. This whole thing has been terrible. I flew back out to Utah early last Saturday morning because the funeral was that afternoon, and I flew back home to Oregon Sunday afternoon. It was a quick trip full with tons of emotions. The service was beautiful though. We had a small viewing for family before the funeral which made it easier to accept the fact that I was where I was because it didn't look like him at all. Then we got in a limo and rode over to the mausoleum where he is buried. The mausoleum is beautiful! I can't imagine him being laid to rest anywhere else, he deserves something so different and marvelous. The service itself was cool. It was a military service which I had never seen in person before. It was complete with the trumpeter, gun salute, and presenting of the flag. There were so many people there my grandma kept saying "he would never believe all of these people were here for him!" it was awesome. They read a couple things that we had written about him (the pastor reading mine was definitely the hardest part for me personally)...the whole thing really did him justice. So job well done. Of course that doesn't make accepting reality any easier. Everyone is having a really hard time with the loss because he is seriously one of the best people this earth has known.

When I came back home I quit my job officially and signed the paperwork for my new job that I start next week.

John and I went to talk to a recruiter, although we didn't get much information because John needs to talk to an officer recruiter which apparently is different from a regular enlisted recruiter. So he's setting up an appointment to go talk with him. John and I have been discussing this whole military thing extensively, but I just have so many worries about it. Our number one worry being that we just bought this house and we're not sure we'd be able to sell it right away. I feel like we'd lose a lot of money that we don't have to lose. We'd have to get a couple things fixed that have broken since moving in, we'd probably have to come up with at least half of closing costs which we couldn't do.....this whole thing makes me wonder if the military is even an option right now. But then again John is 26 so his time is running out on becoming an officer if this is truly what he wants to do. The whole thing stresses me out. If we were in an apartment the decision would be much easier to make, we'd do it. But we haven't been in this house for longer than 6 months....to join he military right now seems crazy to me.

So that's our life right now. It's happy, it's depressing, it's stressful, but still somehow optimistic.

Looking for Guidance and Asking for Prayer

I don't even know where to start.

I'm hoping that since I've actually started typing this that the words will sort of just flow out of my fingertips.

My life kind of feels like a whirlwind right now. So much is going on, and it feels like so much can change my life in an instant.

My grandpa is still in the ICU. He's been in there for 3 weeks now. About a week and a half ago I got a call from my family telling me that he had taken a turn for the worst. I caught the next flight home to see him and was there for a little over a week. I'm so glad I got to go. I got to see him, to talk to him, although he wasn't conscious half the time, I know he knows I was there. He didn't make much progress while I was home, although when I left he was off life support which is good, but yesterday his heart stopped. Luckily they were able to revive him, but I don't know if he's going to make it out of that hospital and it terrifies me.

In addition to that, John has been seriously contemplating joining the military. He feels like maybe that's where God is leading him. We're not making any rash decisions or anything, but we're talking about it, praying about it, and we're going to go talk to a couple recruiters to get more information. I never thought I'd be a military wife. I hear from everyone how hard military life is on marriages and families so I'm not ecstatic about the idea.  A hard part for me is that all of the families (including my own) are air force families, but we don't have an air force base here in Oregon. So we're going to go talk to Navy and Army recruiters along with the Coast Guard.....but I don't know anything about how they operate. Even if we don't have a base here, is Air Force still an option if we are wiling to relocate? See, I don't know anything.

I feel like the next few months will change my life a lot. I'll keep you guys updated on everything, but in the mean time please pray for my grandpa and guidance for John? Thanks.

Photo Story Telling

Our 2012 Family Vacation to the Oregon Coast and Camping Trip in Central Oregon
 

 

"Soon"

So as you all know I am very anxious (happy anxious) to be a mom some day. I'm seriously baby hungry.

For the past 7 months or so it feels like everything revolves around this one topic, but John just hasn't felt ready. Although he's given me many mixed signals on the whole issue (which is a conversation for another time), ultimately his answer was "not yet" mainly because of finances.

About a week or so ago John told me that we could start trying "soon". I brushed it off (due to the many previous mixed signals) and just said "sure". He grabbed me by the waste to get my attention and told me that he meant it. I; however, told him that "soon" was a very relative term and that "soon" may mean something completely different to him than it does me. Then he told me that "soon" to him meant about 6 months...at the beginning of the new year, after the holidays. Not wanting to get my hopes up I told him that our financial state may not change in 6 months so I wasn't holding my breath. "Even if it doesn't change" was his response. That was something he's never said before and he finally got my attention.

That was a huge step for him. He is so scared of the finances that come from having a baby. Not necessarily the baby clothes, toys, and all that stuff, but the doctor visits and medical bills that add up. I understand his concern, so it was a huge move for him to tell me that even if things stay the same...he's up for trying in 6 months. When I asked him what caused his change of heart, he just said that he's been thinking about it a lot and he feels like he's old enough, mature enough, and ready to be a dad.

It's not something that he wants to tell people, but I figure none of his friends/family read my blog anyway so what's it going to hurt to mention it on here? I'm sure you guys won't go blowing up my facebook wall talking about it, right?

 I'm very excited! Especially because it seems like once August hits, the rest of the year flies by! In a couple weeks we leave for our annual family vacation, then we come back and John leaves for a boy's reunion; next we have his cousin's wedding to look forward to, then it's Halloween, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years and then....it's time! We'll cross off one event at a time, and before I know it it'll be January and hopefully not long after that we'll be parents.

YAY!!!!

I've got my baby names down. I've got my box of baby things that is building slowly over time. I've got my hubby on board. Hurry up January!!

I Win

My husband melts my heart. There's no other way to put it.

I have this picture frame that I write on for him...inside of it it has a piece of paper that says "I love you because..." and then I'll write reasons why I love him on the picture frame. I've been doing this for a long time and I change it about once a week.

Today I came home, walked into the bedroom and saw the frame put on my dresser with a note to me, and this is what it said....

I'm not even kidding when I say I stopped dead in my tracks and almost started crying.

I don't deserve him. I really don't. He's so good to me. I hope he knows how much I absolutely adore him. 

How To Date Your Spouse

I just came across a website called The Dating Divas

I'm so glad I found this! They have tons of ideas on how to date your spouse. LOVE it!

I have so many new ideas for romantic nights and "our" days. I would feel bad if i kept such an awesome thing a secret.

One thing I'm definitely doing is their frisbee golf with a twist . John loves frisbee golf but we haven't played a game since moving out here. What a great way to get back into a hobby and enjoy this beautiful hot, sunny weather we've been having.  Seriously guys, check it out. I hope you guys find it helpful too!

Answered Prayers

John has been sick for the past week and a half, and he's been really sick with some type of stomach flu for the past 4 days. He's called into work sick, he's been sleeping for like 15 hours or so a day, he hasn't moved from the couch or bed unless it's been to go throw up...he's been pretty bad. This was all horrible timing because he had a physical fitness test and a written exam for Benton County Sheriff's Department today.

We've been praying really hard for the past few days, hoping he'd be feeling better and would be able to make it through his test. He still wasn't feeling well yesterday when he went to bed. But this morning he woke up, went to his test and did great! He had his written exam first and did well, and then he went to his PT test which is what we were nervous about. He had to go through an obstacle course and finish it within 5 minutes and 35 seconds....he did it in 4:40! Thankfully he had just enough strength and energy to finish it out, and then he went over to the garbage cans ready to hurl haha BUT he finished and he finished strong!

His interview is in a week and a half. 

Hopefully this is the opportunity that we've been waiting for!

Every Love Story Is Beautiful, But Ours Is My Favorite

One of the blog's I follow, the writer's name is Alicia ,and Alicia has been writing about how her and her husband met. She wanted to write down their story so she didn't forget the details, and it made me want to do the same. I've already forgotten some of the little details, and I know that as I get older I'll only forget more. With this in mind I sat down at the computer tonight and wrote out how we met and fell in love. I wanted to write it all down to make sure that I can tell our kids (and even grandkids) our story someday. After finishing I thought, "Hey, maybe I should put this on my blog too". So, here's our story. Our full story.

I remember the first time I ever saw him. He was walking down the school hallway wearing a black soccer polo, with khaki pants and a white pooka shell necklace. He was with his best friend Matt Madigan. I thought he was the most handsome boy I’d ever seen. I asked around about who he was and found out he was dating a girl in my class named Ali. I went home that night, lay on my brother Matt’s bed and asked more about John Merrigan. “Don’t even think about it, Piper. He just broke up with Ali, he’s done dating girls your age”.  Knowing that I didn’t have a chance with him, I let it go.

At the end of my freshman year I started dating my best friend Andrew. I loved that boy. I thought I was going to marry him. But not long into the relationship things started turning sour. He broke up with me multiple times; I was always crying over something he had said or done to me. My family hated him, but I thought we’d get through it. Soon summer was over and I started my sophomore year of high school. I was so wrapped up in my failing relationship I didn’t pay any attention to any other boys….except for John. I always thought he was cute and I always wanted to get to know him. Walking into my World Civilizations class for the first time I realized there was a senior sitting in the classroom. John was Mr. Sprinkle’s TA for the year. The first day he sat in the teacher’s chair, but after that, he sat in the seat behind me every day. I never understood why- nice, comfy leather chair or hard, wooden desk chair….didn’t seem like too hard of a choice to me. He hardly ever spoke; he just sat behind me, listening to me chatter away with my friends Alene and Aaron. Every now and again I would feel him pick a piece of lint off of my shirt or something like that, but he never said anything to me. I had signed up for the track team that spring, and my friend Aaron who was also on the track team had asked me a question about a meet coming up. John was also on the track team, but his priority was soccer and at our school, If you did both and went to soccer practice, track practice wasn’t required. This meant that John had no idea I was on the track team. When Aaron asked me his question, John piped in and said something to the effect of, “I don’t know why you’re asking her, how would she know she’s not even on the track team”. I snapped back with a reply like, “If you ever showed up to practice you would know that I am on the track team”. That day I thought he was rude and sarcastic. Not long after that my doctor told me I had to quit the track team.

I was still in my on again off again relationship with Andrew, and then it was time for prom. I wanted to be tan, like every girl does, so I decided to try a spray tan. Simply put, I turned orange. I was so embarrassed and I didn’t want to go to school. I walked in to my World Civ class and the first person to say anything was John. Thanks to him, for that week (and periodically until I graduated) I was called orange slice. He thought it was funny, I however was not amused. A couple weeks after prom Andrew and I broke up again for the last time. I was heartbroken.

John called my brother Matt one Friday night before school was out to ask if he wanted to go to a movie with some of the guys. I answered the phone. Matt was in the shower so I took a message. Monday came and after school Matt told me that John was asking him who the “hot” girl was that he had over Friday night. Matt had no idea what he was talking about. John asked him who the girl was that answered the phone when he called because apparently he thought she sounded really “hot”. Matt, grossed out, told him that the girl who answered was his sister.

Finally, the last day of school came. Everyone was signing everyone else’s yearbooks and John asked to sign mine and then handed me his. I didn’t have anything to say to him. I thought he was rude,  sarcastic, and he gave me a horrible nick name. I wrote something generic like, “Good luck in college our soccer team will miss you” while he wrote, “You’re hot. I would date you any time”. Thinking that he was innocently flirtatious like the rest of the guys in school I didn’t think anything of it.

That summer I started working at Golf City Mini Golf course. One night I had worked all night and finally got off around 11:00. My friends Shalie and Alene asked me to come over to Matt Madigan’s house, which just so happened to be right up the street from mine. Alene wanted to see a guy named Mike that she was interested in; Shalie liked Matt Madigan, and they wanted to set me up with John. I told them I was tired and wasn’t in the mood to go out. Eventually I finally gave in and headed up to the Madigan’s. When I got there all the boys were playing xbox and my friend’s were sitting on the couch. I went over and sat next to them and started to talk. Then the boys put on a movie. Everyone started cuddling up, and John came and sat on the floor right next to my feet. Alene pushed me off the couch and onto the floor. John pulled out his phone, text something on the screen and showed it to me. I think it was just a generic question like, “How was work”. I pulled out my grandpa’s phone (who’s I had to borrow because I wasn’t allowed to have my own yet) and replied. We did that throughout the movie until it was time for me to go home. Right before I left, John grabbed my grandpa’s phone (not knowing it was my grandpa’s) and put his number in it naming himself “Sexy”.

A couple days later I was on the computer and got an instant message from him. I had no idea who it was or how he got my screen name. He said one of my friends gave it to him. We started talking and I was starting to realize that my first impression of him was wrong, he was actually a really nice and funny guy. He asked me out on a date, he said that it could even be a group date with Shalie and Alene if it would make me feel more comfortable. So Me, John, Alene, Mike, Shalie and her brother Zac all went to the drive in and saw War of the Worlds and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. After our first date, John and I went out a couple more times.

Shalie and Zac’s parent’s owned a cabin up in Island park and their family was heading up there for the 4^th of July. Their parents said they could each bring one friend. Shalie invited me, and Zac invited John. During the day everyone did their own thing; Shalie and I hung out, while their parents went out and did things, and while Zac and John did something else, but each night everyone ate dinner together and then watched a movie right before bed. Shalie, Zac, and their parents fell asleep early every time so it was just John and I still awake. One night John and I were cuddling on the couch and he pulled me over so I was then sitting on his lap. I leaned in and kissed him. He asked me if I was sure that I wanted to do that, I said yes, and then he asked me if I would be his girlfriend…I said yes again. Then I went to bed.

The next day was July 4^th and I felt really awkward. That afternoon I told him that I had changed my mind. I told him he didn’t know anything about me, so I didn’t think being official was a good idea. We watched the fireworks, came in and watched a movie, and sure enough everyone fell asleep but John and I. Then it was really awkward. I told him I was going to go to bed. I stood up and started to walk away and he asked for a hug; I walked back over, gave him a hug and started for my bedroom again. Then he said, “You said I don’t know you”, “Because you don’t” I replied. “Then let me get to know you” he said. “What do you want to know?” I asked. Then he said, “Everything”.

That night we stayed up until 6:00 in the morning talked about anything and everything. We talked about religion, our families, school, past relationships; I told him I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship, and he told me that it had been 1 year since he had gone on a date with anyone. I asked him why he waited a whole year and he said, “Because until I saw you, I couldn’t find anyone worth dating”. We talked until the sun came up. Zac and Shalie’s parents woke up, saw us still talking and told us we’d better get ready to head out because we were leaving to go home soon.

After Island Park John and I were inseparable: he was always at my house, or I was at his; we went on dates around town, he would visit me at work all the time (and I let him and his friends play free rounds of mini golf) it was the perfect summer romance. Although we had agreed we could see other people, neither of us did. Before we left for Island Park I had about 5 dates lined up, but I canceled them all when I got back because I knew something great was happening with John. One night he took me out to Denny’s for a milkshake and fries, after we were finished he drove me back home, walked me to my doorstep and asked me if I was ready to make our relationship exclusive. I said yes. That was July 13^th of 2005 (ok….technically July 14^th because it was a little after midnight).

John and I dated for 5 amazing years after that. For my 21^st birthday John and I went down to Vegas with Tina, Dave, Zac, Kevin Griffin, Craig, Tommy, Chelsea and Philip.  Our first night there we were walking the strip and we decided to go watch the Belagio fountain show. Tina, Dave, Chelsea and Philip decided to go inside the hotel, while the rest of us watched the show. Later, the other four joined us and we all watched it together. I was trying to take pictures of the fountain show and John kept pulling my arm while trying to get me to give Zac my camera so he could take a picture of us. I was a little annoyed because he kept blurring my pictures, but I handed Zac my camera and smiled for the picture. Then I felt John move and looked over. He was down on one knee, holding a beautiful diamond ring. I had no idea what was going on. He asked me to marry him and I said, “Are you shitting me?? Are you serious??” After realizing what was happening and that he wasn’t joking at all, I said “YES!” A crowd had formed and started clapping for us as we kissed and as I showed off my pretty ring. I immediately called my parents, my grandparents, my brother, and Lizzie. Ten months later we promised each other forever in front of God, family and friends at The Canterbury Place in Bountiful, Utah.

I feel extremely blessed to have the relationship that I do. We have our moments; I'm not perfect and neither is he, but together we make it work. In the (almost) 7 years we've been together we've never broken up, never threatened to break up, we've never even thought about walking away from what we have. At first this awed our friends; people just couldn't believe that we were so perfect for each other. But we are. I hope that I always remember how lucky I am to have such an amazing man who loves me and cherishes me. I know in my last post I was in a bad mood and was venting, and I aired a little bit of our dirty laundry, but our story that I just shared with you is who we are, and it's who I hope we will always be. I still think he's the most handsome man I know; I still get butterflies when I look at him (especially when I can get him to wear a pooka shell necklace), for some reason he still loves my voice; I still think our summers together are those perfect summer romances and that, well....that's my fairytale.

Island Park July 3rd, 2005

Summer 2005

 December 2005

 My first trip to the Oregon Coast 2007

 

February 12, 2010

  May 2010

"I Do"

 

"You may now kiss your bride"