The past two days I've felt like I'm seconds away from a mental breaking point. I don't think I've ever been so stressed out in my life. And I don't really know how I let myself get so overwhelmed.
Working my job is very stressful (not that all jobs aren't, and not saying mine's worse than yours), and it's a type of stressful that I can't really explain. Working with addicts day in and day out, and working with troubled children day in and day out starts to take a toll on you. And I would be okay if I were just dealing with work...but working that job and having so much school work is mentally exhausting. I think I found myself crying out of pure exhaustion and stress at least 3 times yesterday. It doesn't really help that the housework suffers while I'm so preoccupied with other things. I feel like the house is a mess (athough it's been much worse in the past), but I'm not keeping up with everything like I should be- though believe me, it's not for lack of trying.
That's also contributed to my sense of being overwhelmed. My never ending list of things to do. I feel like I never get a break. I get up and go to work, work all day, come home only to find myself needing to make dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, play with Duke or take him on a walk, and then around 11 I'll finally get to start on my homework; I'll work on that until 3 or 4 in the morning only to wake up and do it all over again. And my weekends that I have "off" are consumed with even more studying, errand running, and deep cleaning that I can't find the time to do thoroughly throughout the week.
This week (especially today and yesterday) I hit my mental wall. You know when you're working out and your mind keeps telling you "stop you can't take anymore"? My mind was screaming at me "STOP! YOU CAN"T TAKE ANYMORE!". I think most of it comes back to this nutrition class, as stupid as that may sound. I don't think I've ever studied so hard for a class and not seen adequate results. I've been nose deep in my nutrition book for 11 hours in a 24 hour time period and I don't feel confident in anything that I've submitted. Talk about a blow to your self confidence...
Though there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just submitted my 4th nutrition exam and regardless of whether I pass or fail I only have two more exams and both are open book/open note. I see that as a possible chance to raise my grade. I think I see a glimmer of white.We leave for vacation (a much, much needed vacation) a week from tomorrow. Hey, I think the light is getting brighter. And even if I fail this nutrition class, I've already signed up for it again with, according to ratemyprofessor.com, a 5 star teacher who requires zero tests and only a couple quizzes. God, is that you?
Showing posts with label Education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Education. Show all posts
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
A For Effort
I just got my grade back from my Latino Child Development class that I finished like a month ago.
And guess what...
I got an A!
Whoop! Whoop!
That class wasn't the easiest and was so time consuming. I'm having a "pat yourself on the back" moment.
Now if only I could get this darn Nutrition grade up....
And guess what...
I got an A!
Whoop! Whoop!
That class wasn't the easiest and was so time consuming. I'm having a "pat yourself on the back" moment.
Now if only I could get this darn Nutrition grade up....
Monday, July 9, 2012
The Basics of Nutrition My...
@$$
The basics don't seem very basic to me, but anything that involves having to do calculations doesn't seem very basic to me. I'm one of those people.
My grades in this class are no bueno right now :( (78%...this can't be happening).
But on a happier note: I got a 95% on my final paper for my Latino family studies class!
Darn tootin'!
I'm definitely not the science/math type and I definitely am the English/social science type. Why can't I just take all literature or social science classes? Who needs to be well rounded anyway? Not I, I say!
Just kidding.
Kind of.
But seriously. This girl needs to step up her game.
The basics don't seem very basic to me, but anything that involves having to do calculations doesn't seem very basic to me. I'm one of those people.
My grades in this class are no bueno right now :( (78%...this can't be happening).
But on a happier note: I got a 95% on my final paper for my Latino family studies class!
Darn tootin'!
I'm definitely not the science/math type and I definitely am the English/social science type. Why can't I just take all literature or social science classes? Who needs to be well rounded anyway? Not I, I say!
Just kidding.
Kind of.
But seriously. This girl needs to step up her game.
say what?
Friday, July 6, 2012
Total Recall
I feel like I should update you on what's been going on during my blog absence.
I picked up more hours at work (which I feel like I've already told you) so I've been really busy trying to juggle work, school, being wife, and a new homeowner. Wednesday night was the first night I had slept for more than 4 hours in almost 2 weeks.
Ridiculous, right?
Basically I've been waking up around 8 to get to work, work till 5 and come home to cook dinner/clean the house, then I would try to cram some homework in there (I had finals in one of my classes last week...talk about stressful!), and then John and I would be up until like 4 in the morning sometimes trying to get the house together for our housewarming party that was on Wednesday.
Our projects to get the house in the condition we wanted it for our party were:
Paint the master bedroom
paint the master bathroom
paint the guest bathroom
paint the living room
get the office set up
get the guest bedroom set up
clean out the garage
clean up the backyard
clean up the front yard
plant some kind of garden (flowers, herb, or vegetable)
Well we didn't get our bathroom painted, the office really set up (although it's clean), and we didn't plant any type of garden....but the rest of it looks pretty darn good.
Our housewarming party was great....aside from the fact that none of our friends showed up, just family....but other than that it was great. We had amazing food. John and I were up all night getting stuff finished and food made. We had Carolina pulled pork, melon salad, pasta salad, coleslaw, salmon dip, chocolate covered strawberries, strawberry pie, sour cream cookies, cupcakes, and orange julius to drink. Everything was homemade (except for the cupcakes....a friend from work made those for me). By the end of the night I'm pretty sure I ate my weight in calories. It was a little disheartening that none of our friends showed up though. It was tough on both of us because we both knew that if we would have had a party back home, the house would have been jam packed with friends. But it's so hard to gain those types of friendships in a new place.
As far as school goes I'm still trying to figure out how to balance my studies and work. I've had to take two days off so far just to get homework and exams done because I really have no time to do it all. I've worked while going to school before, but never this much with so many responsibilities at home too. I have a lot of respect for single parents that do this with a kid. I'd be a lot more stressed out if I had to do that.
In other news, John's birthday is on Monday. I'm really excited to surprise him with his present. He's been wanting a recliner soooo badly, and he works so hard that he deserves one. But I couldn't really afford one all on my own so my grandma pitched in and helped and John's brothers are going to put some money towards it too. I'm so excited to see his face when he opens it! We'll also be going down to the coast and spending the day there. I'm excited :o)
On top of that, my sister Bailey is coming out to stay with us for a few days on Thursday. Super excited to see her! Not sure what we're all going to do yet, but I see another trip to the coast in our near future.
OH! and how could I forget! John and I have a beautiful baby niece! Did I tell you that already? Her name is Kennedy and she is beautiful. She was born last month, which is why I thought maybe I had mentioned it, but forgot I hadn't been on here in almost a month so I probably didn't. She's precious. I love being an aunt to that beautiful baby girl.
Lizzie and I also decided to get best friend tattoos when she comes out at the beginning of next year. We're going to get small script on our sides- one will say "Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense..." and the other will say "...and to have her nonsense respected." We can't decide who will have which phrase because we both love them both equally haha, but I'm really excited. This will be my first tattoo so I'm nervous, but it couldn't be more perfect for the two of us.
I picked up more hours at work (which I feel like I've already told you) so I've been really busy trying to juggle work, school, being wife, and a new homeowner. Wednesday night was the first night I had slept for more than 4 hours in almost 2 weeks.
Ridiculous, right?
Basically I've been waking up around 8 to get to work, work till 5 and come home to cook dinner/clean the house, then I would try to cram some homework in there (I had finals in one of my classes last week...talk about stressful!), and then John and I would be up until like 4 in the morning sometimes trying to get the house together for our housewarming party that was on Wednesday.
Our projects to get the house in the condition we wanted it for our party were:
Paint the master bedroom
paint the master bathroom
paint the guest bathroom
paint the living room
get the office set up
get the guest bedroom set up
clean out the garage
clean up the backyard
clean up the front yard
plant some kind of garden (flowers, herb, or vegetable)
Well we didn't get our bathroom painted, the office really set up (although it's clean), and we didn't plant any type of garden....but the rest of it looks pretty darn good.
Our housewarming party was great....aside from the fact that none of our friends showed up, just family....but other than that it was great. We had amazing food. John and I were up all night getting stuff finished and food made. We had Carolina pulled pork, melon salad, pasta salad, coleslaw, salmon dip, chocolate covered strawberries, strawberry pie, sour cream cookies, cupcakes, and orange julius to drink. Everything was homemade (except for the cupcakes....a friend from work made those for me). By the end of the night I'm pretty sure I ate my weight in calories. It was a little disheartening that none of our friends showed up though. It was tough on both of us because we both knew that if we would have had a party back home, the house would have been jam packed with friends. But it's so hard to gain those types of friendships in a new place.
As far as school goes I'm still trying to figure out how to balance my studies and work. I've had to take two days off so far just to get homework and exams done because I really have no time to do it all. I've worked while going to school before, but never this much with so many responsibilities at home too. I have a lot of respect for single parents that do this with a kid. I'd be a lot more stressed out if I had to do that.
In other news, John's birthday is on Monday. I'm really excited to surprise him with his present. He's been wanting a recliner soooo badly, and he works so hard that he deserves one. But I couldn't really afford one all on my own so my grandma pitched in and helped and John's brothers are going to put some money towards it too. I'm so excited to see his face when he opens it! We'll also be going down to the coast and spending the day there. I'm excited :o)
On top of that, my sister Bailey is coming out to stay with us for a few days on Thursday. Super excited to see her! Not sure what we're all going to do yet, but I see another trip to the coast in our near future.
OH! and how could I forget! John and I have a beautiful baby niece! Did I tell you that already? Her name is Kennedy and she is beautiful. She was born last month, which is why I thought maybe I had mentioned it, but forgot I hadn't been on here in almost a month so I probably didn't. She's precious. I love being an aunt to that beautiful baby girl.
Lizzie and I also decided to get best friend tattoos when she comes out at the beginning of next year. We're going to get small script on our sides- one will say "Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense..." and the other will say "...and to have her nonsense respected." We can't decide who will have which phrase because we both love them both equally haha, but I'm really excited. This will be my first tattoo so I'm nervous, but it couldn't be more perfect for the two of us.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Just 'Cus
Time is just flying by, how the heck is it the middle of June already?
John and I have been busy trying to get the house completed for our 4th of July/Housewarming party. We've started painting the guest bathroom, and I've been painting some shelves to go in the bathroom as well, but our list of accomplishments seems so small in comparison to our list of things we still need to do. We need to finish the guest bathroom, get our bathroom done, paint the living room and get decorations up, we need to clean out the garage (huge task by the way, it's become our dump for things we don't know where to put)...I have no idea how we're going to finish it all in two weeks.
Work has been going well. I've picked up more hours, and I've been really busy with school too. One class in particular is kickin' my butt (I'm actually procrastinating on it by typing this post), thankfully though I'm done with it in a week and a half...unfortunately that means that my final and final paper is due very soon and I haven't started studying for the test or writing said paper. Needless to say I will be MIA for the next little while. John's doing well too. He's been busy working...that man works so hard, I wish I could say how much I appreciate all he does, but I can't. No words show my appreciation enough.
Father's day is tomorrow too. I wish I could be with my dad for father's day, but we're going down to John's parent's house so we'll get to see them and John's grandparents. My dad is coming out here though! He and my step mom will be out here in August, and we're going to go see Styx LIVE! Oh man, I am stoked, guys!
I think that's all to report. Nothing too exciting goin on here...but I figured I'd at least write on this thing you know, since that's what you do with blogs.
Until next time.
John and I have been busy trying to get the house completed for our 4th of July/Housewarming party. We've started painting the guest bathroom, and I've been painting some shelves to go in the bathroom as well, but our list of accomplishments seems so small in comparison to our list of things we still need to do. We need to finish the guest bathroom, get our bathroom done, paint the living room and get decorations up, we need to clean out the garage (huge task by the way, it's become our dump for things we don't know where to put)...I have no idea how we're going to finish it all in two weeks.
Work has been going well. I've picked up more hours, and I've been really busy with school too. One class in particular is kickin' my butt (I'm actually procrastinating on it by typing this post), thankfully though I'm done with it in a week and a half...unfortunately that means that my final and final paper is due very soon and I haven't started studying for the test or writing said paper. Needless to say I will be MIA for the next little while. John's doing well too. He's been busy working...that man works so hard, I wish I could say how much I appreciate all he does, but I can't. No words show my appreciation enough.
Father's day is tomorrow too. I wish I could be with my dad for father's day, but we're going down to John's parent's house so we'll get to see them and John's grandparents. My dad is coming out here though! He and my step mom will be out here in August, and we're going to go see Styx LIVE! Oh man, I am stoked, guys!
I think that's all to report. Nothing too exciting goin on here...but I figured I'd at least write on this thing you know, since that's what you do with blogs.
Until next time.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Mid Term
Up until today I've been doing really well in school. I've been ahead of my work, I've gotten A's on every assignment, I've been on top of my game....until today.
This week I pushed aside all of my other homework and house work to study for my mid term in Latino Child and Family Studies. This class has so many reading assignments there's just an overflow of information. My professor didn't require a textbook, instead he's listed multiple links to articles for each weekly reading, sometimes this means four, forty page articles for one reading and we have two readings per week.
My professor was nice enough to let us know that there would be around 4-5 essay questions for this test so I tried to know the information pretty well. Welp, I got in to take the test and there were FIFTEEN essay questions. That should be illegal. The whole time I felt like a broken record. One question asked, "Why do people emigrate from Latin America?" the next question asked, "Why do people from Latin America immigrate to North America?"....really? What's the difference?!?
Not only did I feel like a broken record, but there were a couple that I honestly felt like I just pulled the questions out of nowhere just hoping to God that they might hit the ballpark of the right answer.
I'm really hoping I can bounce back from this one. So long 97%....it was nice while it lasted.
This week I pushed aside all of my other homework and house work to study for my mid term in Latino Child and Family Studies. This class has so many reading assignments there's just an overflow of information. My professor didn't require a textbook, instead he's listed multiple links to articles for each weekly reading, sometimes this means four, forty page articles for one reading and we have two readings per week.
My professor was nice enough to let us know that there would be around 4-5 essay questions for this test so I tried to know the information pretty well. Welp, I got in to take the test and there were FIFTEEN essay questions. That should be illegal. The whole time I felt like a broken record. One question asked, "Why do people emigrate from Latin America?" the next question asked, "Why do people from Latin America immigrate to North America?"....really? What's the difference?!?
Not only did I feel like a broken record, but there were a couple that I honestly felt like I just pulled the questions out of nowhere just hoping to God that they might hit the ballpark of the right answer.
I'm really hoping I can bounce back from this one. So long 97%....it was nice while it lasted.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Girls Go To College To Gain More Knowledge
It's official, as of today I am back in school!
I had a little scare this morning when reading a syllabus and it said that the tests could only be taken in a specific testing center. I emailed my professor and explained that I live in Oregon and this would create a problem, he said that I needed to find a proctor near me and register them with the school so I can take my tests there. I called up the library and they said they would be happy to be my proctor! Yay! Best part? The library is literally right down the street from my house. It's all working out perfectly!
I am so excited to be back in school. After having to take a very long break from it all, I've realized how much I took it for granted and how much I actually really enjoy school. I was beginning to feel like my brain was turning to mush. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm gaining a lot of experience at my job, and I read a ton, but none of this is the same as being taught by an educated professor about things that you can only learn in an academic setting. I've missed being challenged.
I started on my assignments today and finished one for this week already. I'm hoping that I can stay on top of all of the homework that I have. One class is really loading it on, but since I can do all the work (even quizzes and tests) early I'm hoping I'll continue to take advantage of that so I don't fall behind. I think I'm going to really enjoy my classes this semester: Latino Child and Family Development, Health Issues in Adolescents, and Science of Human Nutrition. I think this Integrated Studies program is just the thing for me. I have a hard time focusing on one thing for an extended period of time, I prefer working on a lot of things all at once, and with this degree I can do that. I have three areas of study to keep my attention as apposed to getting burnt out on one.
Here's to perseverance and finally getting back into the swing of things!
I had a little scare this morning when reading a syllabus and it said that the tests could only be taken in a specific testing center. I emailed my professor and explained that I live in Oregon and this would create a problem, he said that I needed to find a proctor near me and register them with the school so I can take my tests there. I called up the library and they said they would be happy to be my proctor! Yay! Best part? The library is literally right down the street from my house. It's all working out perfectly!
I am so excited to be back in school. After having to take a very long break from it all, I've realized how much I took it for granted and how much I actually really enjoy school. I was beginning to feel like my brain was turning to mush. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm gaining a lot of experience at my job, and I read a ton, but none of this is the same as being taught by an educated professor about things that you can only learn in an academic setting. I've missed being challenged.
I started on my assignments today and finished one for this week already. I'm hoping that I can stay on top of all of the homework that I have. One class is really loading it on, but since I can do all the work (even quizzes and tests) early I'm hoping I'll continue to take advantage of that so I don't fall behind. I think I'm going to really enjoy my classes this semester: Latino Child and Family Development, Health Issues in Adolescents, and Science of Human Nutrition. I think this Integrated Studies program is just the thing for me. I have a hard time focusing on one thing for an extended period of time, I prefer working on a lot of things all at once, and with this degree I can do that. I have three areas of study to keep my attention as apposed to getting burnt out on one.
Here's to perseverance and finally getting back into the swing of things!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
The Only Constant In Life...
Why is it that when you plan on changing one thing, everything else changes with it? I don't do well with big changes all at once but I feel like my life is going to be changing a lot very soon.
Where do I start? I started slumber parties. I'll be getting my kit on Monday and I'll have my first party next Friday. I'm soooo not ready for that yet!! It's kinda freakin' me out. What if no one shows up? What if no one buys anything? What if I fall flat on my ass with this thing and just blew all this money on some things I'll never use? Once my domain name is approved (www.slumberpartiesbypipermerrigan.com) I'll hopefully start getting some sales there, but in order to make money off of this I have to find consistent buyers ya know? How do I even start that? Fingers crossed that I'll actually be successful!
Next, I'm starting school again. FINALLY! I had a conference call with my professors and director of the BIS program today...it was fantastic! I'm pumped to start school and actually feel like I'm challenging my brain again. I never thought I'd miss school so much until I couldn't be in it for over a year. If all goes well I'll graduate next fall! I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna pay for it yet...probably school loans which sucks because I really didn't want to have to do that, but it looks like that's our only option right now.
And on top of all that, my brother told me tonight that he's moving to San Diego....in less than a month! I knew he was moving to San Diego, I just didn't know when. I didn't expect it to be so fast. He has been trying to find a job down there and today he got offered a position. I'm really excited for him because I think he'll really thrive down there and I think he'll be so much happier in the sunshine state rather than the state that hardly sees the sun, but I wish he was staying. It's going to be pretty hard for me to see him go. My only relative out here will be gone....I can already feel myself starting to get lonely.
On another note, John and I almost have our bedroom completely painted. We need to do one more coat on our accent wall tomorrow and then we're finished. It's taken a lot longer than we thought. We started Monday and we'll finally get to sleep in our room again on Friday. But I think the color looks great, I love it! Here's a picture of our work in progress.
Where do I start? I started slumber parties. I'll be getting my kit on Monday and I'll have my first party next Friday. I'm soooo not ready for that yet!! It's kinda freakin' me out. What if no one shows up? What if no one buys anything? What if I fall flat on my ass with this thing and just blew all this money on some things I'll never use? Once my domain name is approved (www.slumberpartiesbypipermerrigan.com) I'll hopefully start getting some sales there, but in order to make money off of this I have to find consistent buyers ya know? How do I even start that? Fingers crossed that I'll actually be successful!
Next, I'm starting school again. FINALLY! I had a conference call with my professors and director of the BIS program today...it was fantastic! I'm pumped to start school and actually feel like I'm challenging my brain again. I never thought I'd miss school so much until I couldn't be in it for over a year. If all goes well I'll graduate next fall! I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna pay for it yet...probably school loans which sucks because I really didn't want to have to do that, but it looks like that's our only option right now.
And on top of all that, my brother told me tonight that he's moving to San Diego....in less than a month! I knew he was moving to San Diego, I just didn't know when. I didn't expect it to be so fast. He has been trying to find a job down there and today he got offered a position. I'm really excited for him because I think he'll really thrive down there and I think he'll be so much happier in the sunshine state rather than the state that hardly sees the sun, but I wish he was staying. It's going to be pretty hard for me to see him go. My only relative out here will be gone....I can already feel myself starting to get lonely.
On another note, John and I almost have our bedroom completely painted. We need to do one more coat on our accent wall tomorrow and then we're finished. It's taken a lot longer than we thought. We started Monday and we'll finally get to sleep in our room again on Friday. But I think the color looks great, I love it! Here's a picture of our work in progress.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Meltdown
I had a meltdown last night, a major meltdown. Like a mascara all over my face, half yelling/half chin quivering meltdown. A meltdown so intense I'm completely embarrassed by it and my actions that came from it. Here's what happened.
After months of contacting people, filling out all of the paperwork, and re-registering for school I finally logged online last night to register for spring classes (I was hoping for late registration). But for some reason there was a hold on my record and it wouldn't let me register. John was sitting next to me and I asked him, "What does this mean?". He looked at it and said, "I dunno, but you do realize that we'll have to pay out of state tuition now right?". I knew this, but apparently it had just dawned on John. Then he started talking about how out of state tuition is usually 3 times more expensive than in state and that we would need to find out if Weber is even an option money-wise. So, I hopped on their website and checked out the tuition fees....out of state tuition is 4 times more than in state at Weber. And then John so nonchalantly said, "Well, looks like you'll have to go to community college and then transfer over to OSU because that's not an option". And then....the meltdown.
For those of you who aren't caught up on the whole transfer situation I'm in, OSU won't accept my credits. I would have to go to a community college, retake my core classes, then transfer over to OSU (or any university out here, it's all the same) and start from scratch for a new degree. I was 88% done with my degree at Weber before moving, so starting completely over-to me- isn't an option. But last night, John told me it was my only option. I flipped. I didn't know whether to be really depressed because all of my work would be for nothing (not to mention the fact that he's been urging me to get back in school ASAP and the night I go to register for classes he tells me we can't afford it), or enraged because he acted like starting completely over was no big thing, like going to a community college and then trying to get into a new university (which we're looking at 4 maybe 4+ years) was so easy to accept when if we were still in Utah I would have had my degree already.
He tried to console me and tell me how sorry he was, but that out of state tuition just wasn't feesable. That just made it worse. Rubbing my back while I'm in this complete meltdown was the last thing I wanted because "nothing [was] going to make me feel better". This is where I'm embarrassed by my actions and words. I was flat out rude to John. And I feel terrible about it. I just felt like, "it's so easy for you to tell me that I have to start over when you already have your degree". I told him to leave me alone and that I wanted to be alone for a while (I hate that I told him to leave me alone, that's so unlike me). He walked away, but then heard me crying and being the amazing man he is he came back in and put his arm around me even though I fought it. I really was split between two emotions: anger and utter disappointment. One minute I was incredibly disappointed, the next I was very mad about the entire situation. It wasn't pretty.
After I had collected myself and the storm was calming, John said maybe it would be best if we moved back to Utah so I could finish, and then after a year we'd move back to Oregon. I appreciate his willingness to pick everything up and move for me, but to me that's not an option either. I want to be here, he wants to be here, I do not want to move back to Utah, and to me moving would be admitting that we had failed and our year here was a waste of time. When I don't feel that way at all. I feel like this is where God wants us.
After looking at all of our options and going back to Weber's info page, John realized that he had misunderstood. Even though the tuition is four times more expensive, he thought the amount was per semester and not for one year. It turns out that Weber is an option after all, and in reality, it's the best option.
So today I was on the phone for an hour and a half getting my hold taken off the record (simple misunderstanding) and talking with admissions. John wanted me to call and make sure that I wouldn't qualify as a resident since according to my Oregon license I haven't been here a year until March. Well, the bad news is- I'm not a resident. The good news is- I'm not a resident. Because I'm out of state and am just taking online classes, I qualify for the distance learning program which means that I pay less that in state tuition because I don't have to pay any student fees or anything like that.
Finally something worked out for us! It's about time. I mean, I've been struggling to get back in school for a while now, everything that we tried seemed to not work in our favor...until this morning. I'm so thankful that come May I'll be back in school and I'll only have a little bit to go before I finally get my degree.
I am ashamed of how I acted last night. I've never acted like that before. But luckily for me I have a very understanding husband who forgave me and for some reason, loves me at my ugliest. That's love.
After months of contacting people, filling out all of the paperwork, and re-registering for school I finally logged online last night to register for spring classes (I was hoping for late registration). But for some reason there was a hold on my record and it wouldn't let me register. John was sitting next to me and I asked him, "What does this mean?". He looked at it and said, "I dunno, but you do realize that we'll have to pay out of state tuition now right?". I knew this, but apparently it had just dawned on John. Then he started talking about how out of state tuition is usually 3 times more expensive than in state and that we would need to find out if Weber is even an option money-wise. So, I hopped on their website and checked out the tuition fees....out of state tuition is 4 times more than in state at Weber. And then John so nonchalantly said, "Well, looks like you'll have to go to community college and then transfer over to OSU because that's not an option". And then....the meltdown.
For those of you who aren't caught up on the whole transfer situation I'm in, OSU won't accept my credits. I would have to go to a community college, retake my core classes, then transfer over to OSU (or any university out here, it's all the same) and start from scratch for a new degree. I was 88% done with my degree at Weber before moving, so starting completely over-to me- isn't an option. But last night, John told me it was my only option. I flipped. I didn't know whether to be really depressed because all of my work would be for nothing (not to mention the fact that he's been urging me to get back in school ASAP and the night I go to register for classes he tells me we can't afford it), or enraged because he acted like starting completely over was no big thing, like going to a community college and then trying to get into a new university (which we're looking at 4 maybe 4+ years) was so easy to accept when if we were still in Utah I would have had my degree already.
He tried to console me and tell me how sorry he was, but that out of state tuition just wasn't feesable. That just made it worse. Rubbing my back while I'm in this complete meltdown was the last thing I wanted because "nothing [was] going to make me feel better". This is where I'm embarrassed by my actions and words. I was flat out rude to John. And I feel terrible about it. I just felt like, "it's so easy for you to tell me that I have to start over when you already have your degree". I told him to leave me alone and that I wanted to be alone for a while (I hate that I told him to leave me alone, that's so unlike me). He walked away, but then heard me crying and being the amazing man he is he came back in and put his arm around me even though I fought it. I really was split between two emotions: anger and utter disappointment. One minute I was incredibly disappointed, the next I was very mad about the entire situation. It wasn't pretty.
After I had collected myself and the storm was calming, John said maybe it would be best if we moved back to Utah so I could finish, and then after a year we'd move back to Oregon. I appreciate his willingness to pick everything up and move for me, but to me that's not an option either. I want to be here, he wants to be here, I do not want to move back to Utah, and to me moving would be admitting that we had failed and our year here was a waste of time. When I don't feel that way at all. I feel like this is where God wants us.
After looking at all of our options and going back to Weber's info page, John realized that he had misunderstood. Even though the tuition is four times more expensive, he thought the amount was per semester and not for one year. It turns out that Weber is an option after all, and in reality, it's the best option.
So today I was on the phone for an hour and a half getting my hold taken off the record (simple misunderstanding) and talking with admissions. John wanted me to call and make sure that I wouldn't qualify as a resident since according to my Oregon license I haven't been here a year until March. Well, the bad news is- I'm not a resident. The good news is- I'm not a resident. Because I'm out of state and am just taking online classes, I qualify for the distance learning program which means that I pay less that in state tuition because I don't have to pay any student fees or anything like that.
Finally something worked out for us! It's about time. I mean, I've been struggling to get back in school for a while now, everything that we tried seemed to not work in our favor...until this morning. I'm so thankful that come May I'll be back in school and I'll only have a little bit to go before I finally get my degree.
I am ashamed of how I acted last night. I've never acted like that before. But luckily for me I have a very understanding husband who forgave me and for some reason, loves me at my ugliest. That's love.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
To Do List:
According to John I need to do two things in order for this baby makin' to start.
1: start school again. I don't have to be finished, I don't have to be a year in, I just have to get back into it.
2: get a full time job. A job that pays more and has more hours so we can support said baby.
So what did I do today? Looked for full time positions, applied to one, and created a list of others to apply to throughout the week. Also, I contacted the 3 chairs of each department for my emphasis in order to get their approval and acceptance into the program. Now I'm not-so patiently waiting to hear back so I can start school again.
I would like to point out that I haven't been pushing to start this baby process right away. Sure I want this, and I've certainly been thinking it and talking about it to friends...but this recent baby talk has been all John, which makes me very happy. I love how in sync we are when it comes to things like this. It's like he reads my mind (...or my blog, but I doubt that's the case).
And so it begins!
1: start school again. I don't have to be finished, I don't have to be a year in, I just have to get back into it.
2: get a full time job. A job that pays more and has more hours so we can support said baby.
So what did I do today? Looked for full time positions, applied to one, and created a list of others to apply to throughout the week. Also, I contacted the 3 chairs of each department for my emphasis in order to get their approval and acceptance into the program. Now I'm not-so patiently waiting to hear back so I can start school again.
I would like to point out that I haven't been pushing to start this baby process right away. Sure I want this, and I've certainly been thinking it and talking about it to friends...but this recent baby talk has been all John, which makes me very happy. I love how in sync we are when it comes to things like this. It's like he reads my mind (...or my blog, but I doubt that's the case).
And so it begins!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
I Really Need to Learn the Plural Form of the Word Emphasis
Well, I think I’ve finally figured out the whole school situation.
After lots of thinking, and frustration, and turn downs, I’m going to try to get my Bachelor’s of Integrated Studies from Weber State. My three emphasis’ (emphasii….ephasises…?) will be Child and Family Development, Health Promotion, and Nutrition Education. It’s not exactly the route that I thought I’d be going with my degree, but honestly, I’m kind of excited to start and learn something new.
I think it’s going to be pretty difficult though. The whole process sounds extremely time consuming, it’s not as easy as showing up to class, taking tests and moving on; apparently there’s a lot more to it. One of the first things I have to do before being accepted into the BIS program is I have to write a plan (aka: a long paper) explaining why I want to take the BIS route as opposed to a regular BS or BA, and in this plan I have to write about how combining all three of these fields will help me in my future career path. If only I knew what that future career path was….
So next week (when the real BIS lady is in the office) I will be contacting her, and all of the heads of the departments of my emphasii (…) and be busy making a plan for myself and doing conference calls. :/ I really hope this one pans out for me. I’m kind of tired of life’s curve balls when it comes to my education. Who knew finishing after moving would be so difficult? But as long as I have my bachelor’s at the end of it, it’ll all be worth it.
After lots of thinking, and frustration, and turn downs, I’m going to try to get my Bachelor’s of Integrated Studies from Weber State. My three emphasis’ (emphasii….ephasises…?) will be Child and Family Development, Health Promotion, and Nutrition Education. It’s not exactly the route that I thought I’d be going with my degree, but honestly, I’m kind of excited to start and learn something new.
I think it’s going to be pretty difficult though. The whole process sounds extremely time consuming, it’s not as easy as showing up to class, taking tests and moving on; apparently there’s a lot more to it. One of the first things I have to do before being accepted into the BIS program is I have to write a plan (aka: a long paper) explaining why I want to take the BIS route as opposed to a regular BS or BA, and in this plan I have to write about how combining all three of these fields will help me in my future career path. If only I knew what that future career path was….
So next week (when the real BIS lady is in the office) I will be contacting her, and all of the heads of the departments of my emphasii (…) and be busy making a plan for myself and doing conference calls. :/ I really hope this one pans out for me. I’m kind of tired of life’s curve balls when it comes to my education. Who knew finishing after moving would be so difficult? But as long as I have my bachelor’s at the end of it, it’ll all be worth it.
FML
Today was a very frustrating day for me.
I woke up to an email telling me that my admissions to OSU was denied. I was shocked. I knew I met all the requirements, why didn’t I get in?? I called them and asked why I wasn’t accepted and they told me that I didn’t meet their math requirements. I then told them that I tested out of math at my old university, apparently OSU doesn’t accept clept classes. I asked if I could take a math class there to make up for it, and they said no. I need to have that credit before walking into OSU. Why? I have no idea. I don’t understand why I can’t take a needed math course at a university, that seems like it should be pretty simple. But what do I know.
So the lady in admissions tells me that I need to go to a community college and take a math course and then transfer over to OSU. *Oh by the way, I should also mention that the admissions lady said that they need my high school transcripts to prove that I’ve met my English and foreign language requirements. I should also mention that my high school has closed their doors, my old alma mater is no more.* So, I called my old university and asked them if they could send me my old high school transcripts. They told me no; they’re not allowed to do that. They told me to call my old school district and see if I could get my transcripts from them. So I did. I called Weber school district and because Christian Heritage was a private school, they weren’t required to hand over any records. They told me to call the Utah school district and see if they had any of the records. I did; they don’t. How the hell does that happen?? My transcripts have to be somewhere but no one knows where.
So then, I called a community college out here to see if I could get in and finish my math requirements. I told her my predicament and she told me that I would need proof that I’ve taken certain prerequisites in order for me to walk into a college algebra class. Well, I tested out of math in college so I don’t have the proof there, and we all know what a mess my high school transcripts are. So once again I’m at a dead end.
Being very confused and frustrated after being transferred from person to person for 5 hours, I called back my old university and asked if I could finish my associates degree and then just walk into OSU and finish my bachelors. I have an interview tomorrow over the phone with my old university to talk to an adviser about whether or not I can finish online. Well, then I called OSU back to double check and make sure that would be acceptable. They told me no. Even though I would have a degree (which obviously shows that I’ve met my general requirements), they won’t accept it because I still wouldn’t’ have that one damn math class.
Now I’m thinking that tomorrow on my phone interview I’m not going to ask if I can just finish my associates, I’m going to ask if I can finish my bachelors online through them because this whole thing has gotten so ridiculous. I want to say “screw OSU” and they’re unwillingness to work with me on my transfer, and stick to the university who already has my information and who will accept my math credits.
If they tell me no and I can’t finish my degree, well then *@#% me!
I can go without a degree, right? I mean who needs one when I can just sell my body for money, hookers make bank and the whole "girl next door thing"...people eat that shit up
I kid, I kid.
I woke up to an email telling me that my admissions to OSU was denied. I was shocked. I knew I met all the requirements, why didn’t I get in?? I called them and asked why I wasn’t accepted and they told me that I didn’t meet their math requirements. I then told them that I tested out of math at my old university, apparently OSU doesn’t accept clept classes. I asked if I could take a math class there to make up for it, and they said no. I need to have that credit before walking into OSU. Why? I have no idea. I don’t understand why I can’t take a needed math course at a university, that seems like it should be pretty simple. But what do I know.
So the lady in admissions tells me that I need to go to a community college and take a math course and then transfer over to OSU. *Oh by the way, I should also mention that the admissions lady said that they need my high school transcripts to prove that I’ve met my English and foreign language requirements. I should also mention that my high school has closed their doors, my old alma mater is no more.* So, I called my old university and asked them if they could send me my old high school transcripts. They told me no; they’re not allowed to do that. They told me to call my old school district and see if I could get my transcripts from them. So I did. I called Weber school district and because Christian Heritage was a private school, they weren’t required to hand over any records. They told me to call the Utah school district and see if they had any of the records. I did; they don’t. How the hell does that happen?? My transcripts have to be somewhere but no one knows where.
So then, I called a community college out here to see if I could get in and finish my math requirements. I told her my predicament and she told me that I would need proof that I’ve taken certain prerequisites in order for me to walk into a college algebra class. Well, I tested out of math in college so I don’t have the proof there, and we all know what a mess my high school transcripts are. So once again I’m at a dead end.
Being very confused and frustrated after being transferred from person to person for 5 hours, I called back my old university and asked if I could finish my associates degree and then just walk into OSU and finish my bachelors. I have an interview tomorrow over the phone with my old university to talk to an adviser about whether or not I can finish online. Well, then I called OSU back to double check and make sure that would be acceptable. They told me no. Even though I would have a degree (which obviously shows that I’ve met my general requirements), they won’t accept it because I still wouldn’t’ have that one damn math class.
Now I’m thinking that tomorrow on my phone interview I’m not going to ask if I can just finish my associates, I’m going to ask if I can finish my bachelors online through them because this whole thing has gotten so ridiculous. I want to say “screw OSU” and they’re unwillingness to work with me on my transfer, and stick to the university who already has my information and who will accept my math credits.
If they tell me no and I can’t finish my degree, well then *@#% me!
I can go without a degree, right? I mean who needs one when I can just sell my body for money, hookers make bank and the whole "girl next door thing"...people eat that shit up
I kid, I kid.
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