Perceptions

I'm going to be as vague about this as possible so bear with me...

Today I was online and seeing as how I have ADD when I'm online (I can go from YouTubing Disney songs to looking up tattoo ideas in about 10 seconds flat) one link lead me to another and I stumbled upon a personal blog of someone I know. Yes, I know this person in real life, but we don't really know a lot about what makes each other tick if ya know what I mean. So, I read on. I read so I could get to know blogger in blogger's own words, after all, isn't that why people have blogs?

I felt awkward reading it because of the circumstances we're both in, but I did anyway. Blogger had quickly mentioned me in a couple blogs stating very obvious things about me, but one post in particular made me pretty upset. Blogger made a comment about me barely being 21 and already married (clearly this wasn't a too recent post, though blogger did have my age wrong at the time anyway. I was 22 when blogger wrote it and almost 22 when I got married...ANYWAY), living in a small town with only one main road, who stays inside all the time, doesn't do anything and "has no desire to change it". 

I have issues with this statement. Many issues. First because it's condescending; second, because it alludes to a person who isn't who I am at all and third, because I feel blogger didn't even really try to get to know me for who I am before making this presumptuous comment.

Yes, I got married young and it was the best decision of my life. I love John with everything in me and wouldn't change the age we got married for anything. I wouldn't change our life for anything. Some people say we got married too young, I say- not for us. Everyone one is different, every relationship is different, what's right for one is not necessarily right for the other.

At the time blogger was around me I was living in a small town with one main road that I HATED. I seriously couldn't stand living in the town we lived in. I hated everything about it. It was too small, and I don't do small towns. I'm not in a big city now by any means nor do I want to be, but I need a city with a mall, and restaurants, grocery stores that stay open later than 9:00 at night, and a city that actually has things to offer- that town didn't, but circumstances led us there. Duke was growing way too fast for our little apartment and it wasn't healthy or fair for him to be cooped up in a small upstairs apartment. No one in our city would allow Huskies in rented properties (apparently they are on an aggressive breed list which I think is absolutely ridiculous, have you met Duke??), so we had to go 15 minutes out of our city to a very small town. None the less, being in a small town or a big city does not make someone better or worse than another person. Small towns are not for me, they're clearly not for blogger, but me living there for a couple months doesn't make me a lesser person. I didn't like it, so I changed it.

I don't stay inside all of the time. I work, I hang out with family, I go out with friends, John and I go out and do things, but just because I don't document every little thing I do via Facebook or just because I don't travel the world like blogger does, doesn't mean I'm a homebody who doesn't like to go out. On the contrary, I love to go out. I hate sitting home. I have to sometimes because John and I only have one car at the moment, but we/I go out when possible.

I also feel like blogger was "getting to know me" during an extreme transitional phase in my life, and that blogger's comments were wrongful assumptions. We had just moved to a small town I hated being in, and I hadn't made a lot of friends here yet so I didn't have a ton to do at the time, but seeing me for a few months out of my entire life does not give a full picture of who I am or what I want.

Blogger's post was not entirely about me, I was just a blurb in it, but these comments still made me really upset. Upset because I don't want people to think little of me or my life because I live a very full life. I have dreams and goals just like everyone else, but just because I want different things than blogger does or because I go about getting them differently does not give reason to belittling or even mentioning me in blogger's personal blog at all. I was upset with myself for giving off the perception to someone that that's who I am, and I was upset because I let Blogger's words upset me. There are other circumstances in this whole thing that are the main reasons it unnerved me so much, but I don't want to disclose them because it's a touchy subject. All I can say is, don't judge other people. Don't assume things about people. Just because you see or hear glimpses of another person's life doesn't mean you know what makes that person who they are...because you don't.