Which Emotion Will Take Over Next

Basically, I feel like an emotional roller coaster right now.

I went from being super happy today, to being incredibly pissed off...and I mean like, blood boiling pissed off, then after the anger wore off I got sad, and now I have a little hope which makes me happy.

Here's how my day went.


John and I spent the day together and I was totally feeling the Christmas spirit. We went shopping and bought some Christmas stuff, and we decided that tomorrow we're getting our Christmas tree and decorating it. Then we went to the store and got pumpkin pie and eggnog (which we were going to save until tomorrow when we decorate the tree/house but we just couldn't wait so we dug in), and I was having a holly, jolly ole' time.

Then I went to work. And that's when it all went downhill. Literally less that one minute after walking in the door I went from :D to >:O. Why the sourpuss face you ask? Two of our kids got taken away from their mother tonight and put into foster care. I have no sympathy for her, I would have taken them away too. But I feel heartbroken over those kids. I've never been so angry at a client before but I was irate when I heard why the kids got taken away. Mad because she fooled everyone so well; mad because she chose a guy over her kids; mad over her selfishness; mad over her irresponsible and dangerous decisions; mad that those two beautiful babies will now be torn apart; mad because she had chances to change; mad because she's giving up, and mad because I kept thinking of how I would do anything to have a child while there are people out there who don't value their children enough and then situations like these happen.

I was mad for my entire shift. Then I got in my car to head home and I started thinking more of the kids and focusing less on my anger towards the mom. I feel heartbroken that they will be taken away from their mom because they adore her. I feel bad that they will be torn apart. And I'm sad that I won't get to see their cheery little faces anymore.

And here's where the hope comes in.

I'm thankful that they will be taken out of a dangerous/unstable situation and placed with foster parents who care and love them. I know the foster system is screwed up, but one of them has already been taken once and has a foster mom who really does love this child and takes care of them. Maybe that's this will be their saving grace. Then when I got home I started telling John about my awful night and he talked me through my emotions and even though I was doubting my ability to work in a career like this permanently, he encouraged me and listed reasons of why I can do this job. That obviously led to a discussion about our careers and our future, and in this topic of our future, John mentioned babies. I didn't say anything, though I wanted to, but he said that we need to get on top of making our lives better "so we can start having babies". Yes. Those words came out of his mouth. That led to us talking about our careers, him applying to police jobs this weekend, and me finishing my degree. So, then I hopped online and started looking at some more information about my degree and then I started looking up police positions that are open. There are two police departments that are hiring in our dream spot...the coast. This makes me super excited. As soon as I told John he got really excited too. He's applying first thing tomorrow. So please, please, please, say a prayer that John will get one of these positions! I cannot accurately describe how happy the thought of living on the Oregon coast makes me.


 So there's the inside scoop on my highly emotional day.

Gotta love it.